


Run Free

by Macx



Series: Borderlines [25]
Category: Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-15
Updated: 2011-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:33:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macx/pseuds/Macx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on a mission, Chris has to make a command decision: he leaves Ezra and Vin behind to save their precious cargo. It's the most painful thing he has ever done and he has no idea when they can return to save two of his men, one his bonded life-partner... And with the distance between them, he can't feel Ezra any more...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Run Free

**Author's Note:**

> ***Inspired by the score of Spirit***  
> if you have it, listen to it, especially the track #10, titled Run Free (duh!)  
> by Macx and Lara Bee

 

 

The sun had not yet risen over the horizon, but the first faint hints of yellow and white were creeping through the dusky gray of imminent dawn. The mountains rose like giant, dark sentinels into the sky where the last stars battled against sunlight extinguishing their glow.  
“Are you sure we can do it?”  
“As long as he still cooperates.”  
A soft snort disturbed the cool dawn, nostrils blowing warm air in small clouds. Saddle straps were tightened, harnesses checked. Two men moved with determined silence around the desert ground, exchanging brief glances. No word fell.  
 “He trusts us. He wants to be free. He wants them all to be free.”  
“We can do it. The others are ready.”  
Pointed ears flicked back and forth, long tails swished once or twice. The last conferring on their plan had been less than half an hour ago, when the camp had been broken, when everything had started to come together. Weeks of working undercover, of getting close to the target, of winning the trust of the most important figure in this rescue operation. It was still not a hundred percent... nothing was certain. But it was now or never.  
The sun started its slow climb over the horizon, fingers of light wandering over the almost frozen ground. It was just past winter and the nights were icy, the days not yet hot but getting there. There was no such thing as spring here. It was either cold or hot. Never something in between.  
The two men nodded to each other as they mounted the patiently waiting equines.  
It was time.

* * *

The earth thundered with the vibrations of dozens of hooves beating against the dry ground. Dust flew up in a large cloud, obscuring the horizon. Vin Tanner ducked low on the back of the powerful, reddish brown Kiowata as strong legs ate up the miles. He had a scarf wrapped around his nose and mouth, his head protected by a hat. The small electronic device attached to his wrist told him their position and he knew they were still quite a distance from the freighter and safe ground. This land was outside Joined Government jurisdiction and only the freighter represented protected territory.  
For him.  
For Buck.  
For a whole herd of Kiowata currently following the lead they had taken.  
Their speed was unrivalled by any other known equine, but it didn’t compare to man-made machines, and some of them were in hot pursuit.  
Risking a look over his shoulder, Vin couldn’t see past the mass of equine bodies following him, but he thought he caught a glimpse of Buck. He was the only other human riding along and bringing up the rear.  
A gray shape appeared at his side, a magnificent, large Kiowata stallion, the leader of this particular herd. Vin concentrated on their goal again, clinging to the sorrel he rode, praying they would make it.

Exhilaration raced through his veins, the thunder of the herd and the vastness of the land triggering a primal response inside the Kiowata that had always been inside him. Ezra Standish stretched his legs, heart pumping, hooves beating against the desert floor, mane whipping wildly in the wind. His nostrils blew open, taking in the scent, and the primal side rejoiced. This was his element. He could run, he was free, he had no boundaries.  
The light weight on his back didn’t bother him. Neither did the mock-reins or the saddle blanket that helped his rider to stay on top of the broad back. Vin had been on his back before and he was an experienced rider.  
Letting the adrenaline course through him, the Kiowata inside of him free and wild, Ezra’s long strides ate up the distance to the cargo ship.

* * *

“Where the hell are they?” Nathan muttered, stroking the flanks of his small brown horse.  
The mare had sensed the uneasiness of her rider. JD peered through his binoculars again.  
“Nothing to see so far,” he replied, fully aware of the fact that they were running out of time.  
“There!” Josiah pointed toward the horizon.  
The three men were standing on a hillside, closely watching the scenery below, waiting. Waiting for things to come, or, more precisely, for their friends to return from a rescue mission. And returning they were, as the dust cloud on another hill indicated.  
And then they heard it.  
The earth was slightly vibrating with the pounding of hooves. Many hooves. Many large hooves.  
“I can see ‘em,” JD called, standing up in the saddle. “Ezra’s leading them. Wow.”  
The dust cloud parted a little, and now the three men didn’t need binoculars any more to see them. ‘Them‘ were Kiowata, horse-like sentient life form populating this small backwater planet. A Kiowata was an impressive sight, its sheer size remarkable. The two horns just above the eyes made them look even dangerous. A Kiowata in flight was marvelous. A herd of thirty of the animals in full flight was simply breathtaking. And at this moment it was exactly what the three men were observing.  
The Agency had received rumors that a larger herd of wild Kiowata had been caught and were about to be sold by none other than Guy Royal.  
Royal was a known perpetrator. On BP-379 he had owned a large ranch, collecting everything from expensive articles to unique life stock, like Kiowata. Ruthless hunting had decimated the species in their numbers. Prima 2 was looking after its population of Kiowata and whoever hunted or caught them was prosecuted quite severely. After BP-379 had come under the command of the Regulators, Royal had disappeared. He had found himself out of business all of a sudden, and that was something the rancher couldn’t either afford nor allow.  
A few months ago, the Agency had heard of him once more. He had made a new appearance on this small planet and continued his now illegal business by catching and clipping Kiowata, regardless of the law OR their former – human --life.  
One of the caught humans had been a certain Mary Travis, related to none other than Judge Orrin Travis, and the team had been deployed to free her and the others. And now thirty of these incredible creatures were heading toward the direction of the watching men in full speed, lead by a smaller sorrel Kiowata.  
”Wow. Ezra’s good.” JD remarked.  
Two of their team, Chris Larabee and Ezra Standish, who happened to be Borderlines, which in their case meant they changed shape into Kiowata, and were able to communicate with one another via the so called Bond they shared, had gone in undercover. Due to the fact that Royal already knew Chris in his Kiowata shape, it had to be Ezra, pretending to be tamed already. He had mumbled, he had protested, openly and in private, but nevertheless he had accepted.  
So they had gone in, Chris in his human shape and Ezra as Kiowata. It had lasted three days before the operation threatened to go down the drain and Buck and Vin had been forced to ‘join the forces’. Luckily the four of them had managed to discover the herd in time before Royal could have started the clipping, but not early enough for reinforcement to arrive. So their last best hope was to get the Kiowata off Royal’s property where they would be safe.  
So they ran like hell.  
Pursued by Royal’s men, who were now coming up fast, toting weapons.  
“SHIT!” JD swore profoundly at the sight presenting itself in his binoculars.  
“What?” Nathan demanded.  
“Ezra fell. Can’t see Vin … ohmygod …“  
“What? JD … “  
“Ezra’s standing again, but he’s injured. He’s limping … no sight of Vin yet …”  
“Chris?”  
“Taking over the lead. He switched places with the gray.  Buck’s still on his back. They’re coming up fast. What the hell is going on there … Shit, here they come.”  
No need to ask. JD was referring to Royal’s men.  
“Jackson to Cargo One,” Nathan called into his com. “We got incoming with pursuit. Lower ramps and prepare for lift-off.”  
JD stared at him in shock. “What about Ezra and Vin?”

*

Chris felt the pain lance through his right leg and he stumbled, nearly falling. He caught himself, still running, and Buck’s hold on him tightened.  
“Chris?” Wilmington called.  
He didn’t answer, just ran. Ezra’s presence inside him was shielded, but he knew something had happened to his partner. But he wouldn’t fall into the trap of reaching out. If he did, he might lose himself in his lover’s mind. Right now, the mission was foremost, top priority, and as much as it hurt, he was an Agent first and a lover second.

*

Judge Orrin Travis had been watching the whole operation from the relative safety of the freighter, together with the five Handlers they had hired from BP-379 for this mission. The men and women were trusted and would take care of the rescued Kiowata on the way to the new planet.  
Listening to the com, he suddenly tensed. JD had reported Ezra and Vin going down, then how Chris had briefly stumbled. The Handlers were suddenly moving, lowering the ramp, and Josiah was among them, yelling orders.  
Travis stood back, watching the controlled chaos, and suddenly the Kiowata were there. Led by Chris and the gray stallion, they pounded into the cargo room, whinnying in fear and indecision, but their leader was an image of self-assured power, his whinnies bellowing through the room.  
JD was off his own horse, which looked more like a pony next to the Kiowata, and racing toward the cockpit to help the two pilots with their preparations. Nathan and Josiah were working in tandem with the Handlers, getting the last aboard, and Chris stood next to the still open ramp, in his equine form, nostrils blowing wide. His eyes were scanning the horizon, but suddenly he turned, pain flickering over his features. Travis watched as the Kiowata shape flickered and changed into the better known one of the human Commander and Agent. But the expression was stony, carved in granite, and didn’t give anything away. Travis knew his men, he knew Chris, and he knew something bad had happened. Larabee slipped into the quickly offered overall and then gazed back out the ramp again, cradling his right arm against his stomach.  
“We got company!”  
The call came through the com and Travis witnessed the stiffening of Chris’s shoulders and Buck’s desperation leaking through.  
“Close the ramp,” came the toneless order from their team leader.  
“Chris…”  
Chris turned and faced his Agent, silent.  
“Vin and Ezra are still out there,” Buck protested.  
“I know.”  
“We can’t leave them!”  
Chris’s eyes seemed to break for the fraction of a second. “We’ve got a mission to run, Agent Wilmington,” was all he said, then he turned and walked away.  
The ramp closed slowly.  
And then the freighter started to shudder as the engines came to full life.

*

Chris felt Ezra in his mind, a shielded presence, muted but clearly in pain, but it wasn’t the Ezra he knew. It was the Kiowata. Whatever had happened to him, it had pushed back the human mind, bringing the instinctual animal to the front.  
He’s alive, Chris told himself as he closed the uniform jacket and walked onto the bridge.  
He’s alive and we’ll get them both.  
<Hold on, Ezra. We’ll be back> he sent, no hope for a reply in his mind.  
Vin would take care of his partner; he would protect him, just like Ezra would do the same.  
"Jump in five.... four... three... two... one....." JD counted, agile fingers racing over the control unit for the Transspace controls..  
There was a slight increase in engine noise as the trans drive activated, then space around them turned completely black for an instant. Trans jumping was still a dangerous method of going from point A to B in record time. It was only allowed in emergencies and Transspace engines were found mostly in government ships. The freighter had been outfitted with one long before this mission and had been in use of the Agency countless times.  
Chris felt something inside of him shiver and stretch painfully. They had just crossed a great distance, and with it, Ezra’s presence had been pushed further away from him. He grasped the rail in front of him and his knuckles stood out white from the hard grasp.  
“Chris?”  
The soft murmur belonged to Buck, who wore a sympathetic expression. Worry lurked behind his dark eyes, worry about Vin and Ezra, too.  
“I’m fine,” he snarled.  
Buck just met the burning eyes silently. Chris exhaled, trying to concentrate on everything but the emptiness inside him. His arm still hurt, a sign that the Bond was strong enough to give him phantom pains, and he took a strange kind of reassurance from it.  
“Sorry,” he mumbled.  
Buck squeezed one shoulder, all too empathic to his commander’s pain and worry.  
“We’ll get them both,” he whispered. “We’ll be back.”  
Chris nodded. They would return, everything else be damned. The moment the herd was safely on P-14-69, he would take the Chimera, come hell or high water, and find his partner and Vin.

* * *

Vin stumbled to his feet, coughing, feeling pain shoot through his body. He was one big bruise. Worse than that even. Everything hurt, everything seemed to scream its individual agony at him, and he heard a moan, which had to be him.  
"Damn," he coughed.  
He couldn’t remember what exactly had happened, only that Ezra had gone down, falling, throwing him off, and Vin had come into sudden and unyielding contact with the dusty ground. He had been lucky that no Kiowata had stampeded over him, but the way he felt, it might have happened anyway. He just didn’t remember.  
Then a thought struck him.  
"Ezra!"  
Wide-eyed, the Agent looked around for his friend, who had taken such a hard fall. The events leading up to it were still blurry, but Vin was very clear on the scream of pain, the Kiowata scream of pain.  
"Ezra!"  
And then he saw him. Just a few feet away, red coat covered in the same dust, stood the Kiowata. Ezra's eyes were wide, nostrils flaring, and he was balancing precariously. The right foreleg was lightly resting against the hard ground, and Ezra wasn't putting any weight on it. Vin saw why and he swallowed hard.  
There was a long, deep cut from below the knee joint to halfway up the leg. It still bled sluggishly and it was covered in dirt and grime.  
"Ah, shit, Ez!"  
The Kiowata snorted nervously, ears flattening, and as Vin approached, it hobbled away, clearly afraid.  
"Shhh… it's okay…. It's me," Vin murmured.  
The Kiowata had taken over, he thought, feeling a flash of fear himself. The pain had forced the intelligent man, the human, back. The animal was in command and it was terrified and in pain.  
"You know me, Ez," Vin murmured, ignoring his own pain as he reached out with one hand. "It's me, Vin, your friend. You can trust me. Shhhh…. Everything's okay."  
He kept up the string of soothing words, inching closer, the hand still outstretched. Nostrils flared again and again, taking in his scent, and suddenly the ears pricked slightly.  
"Yeah, you can smell me. You can smell yourself on me. Same herd, right?" Tanner murmured. "I'll help you, Ez. C'mon… Gotta get ya to safety…"  
And then velvety skin touched Vin's as the nose brushed over his palm. He smiled gently, whispering softly, encouragingly.  
"Gotta leave. C'mon. Not safe here."  
Vin had no illusions that if the men had seen them fall, they would sooner or later come looking.  
Ezra whinnied softly, hobbling a bit, snorting in pain.  
"Stay, pal, stay. Good boy… shhhh…"  
Vin looked at the ugly wound and winced. That had to hurt. It looked bad and it was probably worse.  
“It’s me… Vin… you know me.”  
Cajoling, talking ceaselessly, he finally was allowed to reach for the reins and he took them carefully. The leg was still bleeding and his own body was protesting the prior abuse.  
Ezra whinnied softly.  
“I know it hurts. I think there are bruises on my bruises. You, too, hm?”  
The Kiowata stumbled slightly, then raised his leg again, not wanting to put pressure on it.  
“Ez? You back in there?”  
Another snort and the pointed ears flicked. “Hey,” a weak voice could be heard through the translator and Vin allowed himself a relieved smile.  
“Welcome back, Ez.”  
“I’m not sure it’s good to be back.” Pain swung in the electronic voice.  
“I know, I know. You think you can make it over to the rocks? We have to get behind some cover.”  
Ezra nodded and they made their agonizing trek over to the meager shelter. Ezra was trembling by the time they arrived and the bleeding had worsened. Vin rubbed his flank and inspected the wound, sighing. It was a deep cut and he would have to clean it. His first aid kit was small and the bandages wouldn’t be enough to cover everything. The damage was extensive.  
“Needs stitches,” he murmured.  
Ezra gave a rough whinny. “No!”  
“Well, I could stitch the worst, but you have so much dirt in there, cleaning it is first priority.” Vin looked up into the green eyes swirling with pain and denial. “I’ll have to check for our pursuers first, make sure we’re safe for now. And we need water to clean this. There’s a river about a mile from here.”  
“Vin…”  
“You stay. Let me take care of things.”  
“I could shift.”  
“And then what? It’s gotta be painful now, so a shift would probably be pure agony.”  
“At least I could walk.”  
“Not when you’re out cold from the pain.”  
“Vin…”  
“End of discussion. You stay here, I’ll scout around.” Vin flashed a quick smile at his friend, then moved as gracefully as was possible with his bruises through the rocks.

He returned an hour later, giving them an all-clear for now. Using water and the small amount of antiseptic from the first aid kit, Vin cleaned the wound. Ezra jerked involuntarily several times, the sharp horns or hooves coming dangerously close to Vin, but he still had a measure of control left.  
“The ship’s gone, right?” Ezra murmured.  
Vin nodded. “Did what they had to.”  
Ezra lifted his head, gazing at the cloudless sky.  
“Can you still feel him?” Tanner asked softly.  
The Kiowata snorted softly. “They jumped immediately after reaching space. The Bond’s... stretched tight...”  
Vin straightened from where he had knelt next to Ezra’s injured leg and he reached up to caress one square cheek.  
“He’ll be back, Ez. He’ll be back.”  
Standish just gazed at the emptiness around them, refusing to comment.

* * *

Chris paced the room. No, correction: he prowled. Each step measured, controlled, and with deadly grace. His right arm was held close to his stomach, hurting like blazes without bearing a visible wound, and he knew that whatever he felt, Ezra felt it more.  
The cargo freighter was flying at top speed, hurrying to the small planet by the designation of P14-69 where their precious cargo would be unloaded. The Kiowata herd was safely in the cargo hold, secure and taken care of, and Chris should be in there, talking to the herd leader. But he was here, frantic, wearing a ditch into the deck plating.  
"Chris."  
He stopped abruptly, head whipping around, hazel eyes glaring at the man who had spoken up.  
Judge Travis met the angry eyes with mild disapproval and a lot of understanding. "You have a job to do, Commander Larabee," he continued, deliberately using Chris's rank.  
"I've left two of my people on that planet! Sir," he added, not really meaning it.  
"I know."  
"One of them is my partner!"  
"I know."  
"It'll take two weeks to get to P14 and back again!"  
"I know."  
Chris exhaled explosively, fist clenching and unclenching. "Royal is looking for them. He saw them go down. He knows we couldn't get to them. He'll look. If he finds them…"  
"Chris." Again, the Judge's voice was soft but firm. Steel wrapped in cotton. "Agents Standish and Tanner are professionals. I trust them to take care of themselves. Actually, Agent Standish has been in such a situation before."  
Chris felt a tremor race through him. "Yes. But not alone."  
"He isn't alone."  
"He is, Judge. The distance…"  
"He'll handle it, Chris. He is strong."  
Chris swallowed at the vote of confidence in his partner.  
"And you have a job to do. Those Kiowata trust you; their leader trusts you. You're our liaison, so go and do your job, Commander."  
"Yes, sir."  
Chris turned on is heel and left in hard, measure steps, back rigid, face a mask. He would function, he would follow orders, and he would finish the mission successfully. He still felt his lover's presence, but no longer as strong and pronounced as before. No longer a vivid part of his soul. Just a little splinter now, a shadow of its former strength, and it wouldn't be much longer before even that shard would vanish, leaving him alone.  
And deep down inside, another Chris was desperately praying that Ezra was going to be all right. Because, damn, Larabee wouldn't be until he could return and bring Ezra back to where he belonged.

* * *

Ezra limped a few more feet, then stopped, shivering noticeably. It was getting colder and throughout the night, it would be freezing. Vin looked around, searching for a place to spend the night, and he finally found it in shape of a narrow canyon not far away.  
"C'mon," he urged his friend. "Let's get somewhere more protected."  
Ezra snorted tiredly, but he didn't complain as he limped after Tanner. It took them most of an hour to get there, and Vin first scouted around the canyon, which wasn't really big enough for a Kiowata to fit. It was a crack in the landscape and a human could squeeze inside, where the crack widened and turned into a surprisingly warm cave of sand and sandstone.  
"Can you change?" Vin asked, aware of what he was asking of Standish.  
"I guess," was the answer through the translator.  
The shift from Kiowata to human was slower than normal and Ezra was pale and trembling the moment he was fully human. His knees buckled and Vin was just quick enough to catch him. A soft cry of pain could be heard and the thief tried to curl in on himself, protecting his injured limb, but Vin stopped him.  
"C'mon. Inside. I'll have a look at the arm then."  
Ezra was barely able to walk and Vin hauled the naked man into the canyon, trying to be as gentle as possible, but he knew he still hurt him. Ezra was panting, face bathed in sweat, and shaking hard when they finally arrived in the small cave. His eyes were screwed shut and Vin quickly lowered him onto the blanket he had spread earlier. He would take care of the bedding later. First came the injury.  
Vin made quick work of the old bandage, which was hanging off the shorter and smaller human limb, checking the wound. It was now located on Ezra’s hand, wrist and forearm, the equivalent to the Kiowata foreleg, and it was bleeding again. Profusely.  
Ezra whimpered, trying to pull away, but Vin soothed him. "Almost done, Ez. Sorry to hurt you."  
"I'm fine."  
"Sure you are."  
Green eyes slid open a crack and Ezra smiled dimly, but he didn't comment.  
“I’ll put in some stitches,” Vin told him. “Just to close the worst areas. Maybe your healing factor can kick in and help along.”  
Standish nodded weakly, biting his lower lip as Vin used the small device that could close the gaping flesh. The moment Ezra changed back into his Kiowata form tomorrow, they would tear again, but hopefully his healing abilities had taken care of some of the injury by then.  
Vin finished with the bandage and then sat back. It was getting dark fast now and light was fading in here.  
"Can't make us a fire, so we'll just slip in under the covers and hold out till morning," the Agent explained as he rose and collected the meager materials they had.  
"Come again?" the weak complaint was full of indignation.  
Vin smiled. "Body heat, Ez. It's all about body heat. We share, we survive the night. Simple."  
"Vin…"  
"I know I ain't Chris, but if you wanna get through this night without frost bite, we need to stay together."  
Ezra hung his head, clearly not amused. Vin smiled and ignored his friend as he went about the preparations.

By the time he had finished, Ezra shivered in the cold night air, the blanket drawn tightly around him. Vin stood back, sighing.  
"That's as good as it gets," he announced.  
Ezra smiled dimly. He was cradling his right arm, which was wrapped solidly in Vin's shirt. The bed consisted of the rescued sleeping bag, the rest of the blanket that Vin had used as a saddle, and whatever else Tanner had been able to scrounge up. Some of the grassy stuff growing here was rather soft.  
"Doesn't look like much, but it'll do." He made a sweeping gesture. "Ez?"  
Ezra chuckled weakly and padded over to the 'nest'. Vin slipped under the covers and wriggled a little bit.  
"Not bad. Come on in."  
"Sure?"  
Vin rolled his eyes again. "I told you before, I'll tell you again: we have to share body heat, Ezra. I swear I won't do anything to ya, 'kay?"  
Standish grimaced. "That's not it."  
"Then what? Buck getting jealous? Chris?"  
Ezra sighed deeply and gingerly lowered himself onto the bedding. He winced when his arm flared up with pain again.  
"Damn."  
"Okay. Lay on your back, if that's okay. I'll… cuddle up on your good side." Vin grinned mischievously.  
Ezra glared at him, but he did as instructed. Vin unzipped his jacket and then snuggled up close to his friend. Soon, with some more arranging, they were comfortably ensconced by the blanket and sleeping bag, sharing body heat.  
"Comfy?" Vin asked.  
"Yeah."  
"Arm?"  
"Fine."  
"So it hurts," Vin translated.  
"Like a bitch."  
Tanner chuckled and unconsciously rubbed over Ezra's side. "Get some sleep, Ez."  
Ezra doubted he could. He was exhausted, but his mind went over all the possibilities. This was not unlike BP-379, with a variant to it. This time it was Vin, not Chris. This time he was hurt. This time… he knew what he was missing, and was reminded of it because of the growing emptiness permeating the Bond.

* * *

Chris lay on the bed in the quarters assigned to him on the cargo freighter, the hurting arm cradled on his stomach. There was a deep sliver of cold in him, cold where only heat should have been. Ezra. The warmth of his lover and partner. In the blackness of the fading Bond there was a sense of loneliness so extreme it nearly choked him. Chris felt like he was made of dark and cold.  
He had gone through something similar before. Years ago, when Ezra had lost not only his memory, but his whole self, reverting back to something more primitive, going by instinct, and latching onto Buck because Buck seemed to be the only person he could trust then. Because Chris had reminded him of the man who had almost killed him. Back then, Chris had been driven to the brink and over, trying to actually kill himself.  
Not this time.  
He would be able to go through with it; he would suffer the separation and still function.  
He could do it.  
Suddenly, the pain started to fade. It was as if he had taken a pill, numbing his nerve endings, relieving him.  
But this wasn’t a pill. And it was no relief.  
It was the fading of the Bond as it separated under the strain of the distance.  
<Ez?>  
Chris rolled around, moaning softly in a pain that wasn’t physical. He knew that the moment he was no longer able to feel his lover’s pain, he would be alone.  
And he would prefer the pain to that particular loneliness any day.

* * *

It was the quiet that woke Ezra from his restless slumber.  
<Chris?>  he sent automatically.  
It was such an instinctive action, so natural, that he didn't even remember the growing separation.  
But something had changed, faded to almost nothing.  And then… nothing.  
"Chris," he whispered, sounding lost even to his own ears.  
He was gone.  
The distance was too great, even for such a tight and accomplished partnership, a Bond that linked them in so many ways.  
"Ez?"  
The sleepy voice alerted him to Vin waking and Ezra pulled himself together, turning to face the other man. Inside, he was screaming in frustration and growing pain.  
"Morning."  
Vin's eyes bore into his, suddenly more awake, and too knowing for Ezra to be comfortable with. "You lost him," Tanner murmured.  
Ezra looked away, swallowing hard. "It… was to be .. expected."  
"Yeah, I know. But it's still bad."  
Ezra shivered, pulling the blanket around his still naked form. He felt vulnerable, in both forms. As a human he had no clothing, no weapons, and as a Kiowata, the injured leg slowed him down. He was a Borderline, true, and in his case it meant a sped-up healing ability, but the deep wound needed another day or so to reduce – if he would stop shifting.  
Now he had lost the Bond, and Vin, who had been Bonded to someone once and lost him, knew all about it. He trusted Vin, had trusted him for a very long time now, and he knew Tanner would never betray him, but it was still an uncomfortable fact.  
"Ez?"  
He looked up.  
"I'll have a look around for some food or whatever. You stay put, okay?"  
Tanner rose fluidly, straightening his wrinkled clothes.  
"Yeah. Sure," Ezra replied, curling up in the warmth of the sleeping bag. The cold he felt was not all physical.  
"How's the arm?"  
"Better."  
"Good."  
Vin moved out of the canyon, careful, like a shadow. And then he was gone.  
And Ezra was completely alone.

* * *

Chris stood in the large cargo hold, looking around the dull gray interior, taking in the Kiowata herd milling around. The thirty individuals had adjusted more or less quickly to the freighter environment, but Chris had no illusions that without their leader, they would never have even set a hoof into this flying stable. As it was, they behaved. The Handlers who had come along on this mission and who were taking care of the equines, knew to be careful. Arrangements were that they announced their entry into the cargo hold when they wanted to clean up or bring more food. Otherwise, they would stay away.  
The Chimera team was mostly accepted. Buck and Chris were trusted, Nathan was tolerated, the others were regarded with wariness. Nathan had checked each and every Kiowata and pronounced them all fit. He would be removing the tags Royal had applied to the ears in the next hours.  
Chris shivered. He had been tagged, too, by Ezra, to cover up the fact that he had never been tamed in one way or another. His horns had been still uncut and no nails had been driven into the base of them to take his will. None of the Kiowata had gone through that degradation and they were all free-spirited still.  
Sitting down on a bale of straw, Chris watched the equines. There were five young ones, one not older than maybe two weeks. One of the mares was pregnant and would most likely give birth soon after they landed. Most of the Kiowata were mares. There were few males and all of them were too young to be any threat to Gray, the leader of the heard.  
Gray was the name they had given him; the Kiowata stallion had no name for himself. He was a full-blooded Kiowata, not one of the changed humans, and in the herd there were few of his origin. Most had been human once. Some were even human descendent.

The sound of hooves on straw on modified deck plating alerted Chris to someone approaching. He looked up and into the dark eyes of Gray, who regarded him solemnly. Chris knew a lot about Kiowata body language and he didn’t need a translator to see that the Kiowata was sizing him up critically, almost worried.  
“Chris Larabee,” the slightly metallic voice of the translation device could be heard.  
“Hello, Gray.”  
Gray snorted, amused. He didn’t really understand the concept of names as humans had them. Kiowata recognized each other by smell and sound.  
“Your mate – missing.”  
Language was another factor. While Kiowata spoke to one another, were very intelligent and far above what humans had always seen in them – mere animals – they didn’t speak in the same pattern like Chris or Buck or anyone else. The translator did its best to created an understandable sentence. A lot was body language. Only formerly human Kiowata spoke fluently.  
“Yeah.”  
“He fell.”  
Chris nodded.  
“You left.” There was no accusation in Gray’s body language.  
“We had to,” he said softly. “To save you.”  
A soft snort. “Your mate.”  
“And so much more,” Chris heard himself say. “I’m losing him. Each light year, we separate more. This morning… he was almost gone.”  
He screwed his eyes shut as the familiar pain surged again.  
Warm air brushed over his face and a velvety muzzle touched his forehead. Chris reach up, fingers brushing over the gray fur, encountering the rough growth of the horn as Gray lowered his head, and then he wrapped his arm around the stallion, burying his head in the fur. Larabee didn’t know why, but for a moment, it was as if nothing else mattered. The support, freely given and accepted, was like a lifeline. Gray only understood his distress and he acted instinctively to help.  
An accepted member of the herd.  
Another stallion, even.  
Chris felt a tremor course through him.  
“Your mate,” he heard Gray say. “More?”  
He nodded against the tangle of gray mane, briefly patting the strong neck before he finally let go. He didn’t want to, but a part of him was highly embarrassed about this display of need.  
The Kiowata stallion stayed, though, soft lips nibbling at Chris’s hair in a calming, supportive gesture.  
“He’s part of my soul, Gray. Part of me. I can’t live without him.”  
“Mates,” came the statement again.  
Chris smiled. “We’re connected. More than mates.”  
Gray flicked his ears. In puzzlement.  
“Ezra… is part of my mind. We share a bond… a link… we can talk in here.” He touched his head. “And we’re forever connected here.” He touched his chest. “We’re soul partners.”  
Gray’s eyes studied him and his tail twitched. He blew air out of his nostrils, clearly trying to understand the concept.  
“If Ezra… dies…” Chris swallowed and chased the ugly pictures away. “If he leaves me… there will never be someone else. I’ll leave, too.”  
He was nuzzled again and shivered at the gentle contact of muzzle against neck.  
“I understand. Private mates. Humans.”  
Chris chuckled weakly. For a true Kiowata, the concept of having only one mate was strange. Those in the herd who had been human once and who had decided to stay Kiowata and never return to their former selves, were mostly mated to only one male or female.  
“Probably.”  
“You hurt.”  
“Very much,” he confessed.  
“You should return.”  
“I can’t. Your safety is my mission. You are important.”  
“Mates are.”  
Chris shivered. “Ezra is very important to me. He is… everything… my life….my sanity… part of my soul… but this is my job. When you are safe, I’ll return to find him.”  
Gray pressed his nose against Chris’s head. “Grateful.”

* * *

The sun was high up in the sky and Vin was thankful for every little cloud that crossed over the bright star. It wasn’t boiling hot, but warm enough to drain him, make him drink at frequent intervals, and thank whatever powers were out there that they had found this little stream they were following.  
Ezra, in his Kiowata form and carrying their meager belongings, limped after him. The thief had been quiet ever since they had broken camp, left the canyon, and made their way east. Vin’s small map showed a green stretch of land east of the Royal lands, so that was where they planned to head. Anywhere was better than around Royal. So far, no one seemed to follow them.  
“Something on your mind?” Vin asked quietly after another hour of silence.  
“No.”  
Right. So not true.  
“Wanna try again?”  
A sigh. The green eyes, which had held a faraway look, focused on the smaller human.  
“Remember the last time?” Ezra asked, voice soft.  
“What last time?”  
“The last time me and Chris were separated.”  
“Yeah. Only too well.”  
“Me too. Back then, Chris tried to... kill himself.” Ezra shivered and Vin fell in step beside him, touching the dusty coat.  
“Not this time, pard. He knows you’re alive.”  
“Back then he knew as well. I was a living, breathing presence, only a few doors down the corridor.”  
“But you couldn’t seem to remember him. That was what drove him to extremes, Ez. Not the separation but the fact that you saw an enemy in him,” Vin said.  
Silence answered him.  
“This time is different. Chris knows it. He’s out there, completing the mission, then he’ll be back. He knows you’re alive, Ezra.”  
Another sigh from the large Kiowata.  
“And Buck will keep an eye on him. I know that like I know Buck,” Vin added with conviction.  
“I know,” Ezra murmured.  
Vin patted his shoulder again. “He’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.”  
They continued their way, silent again, but Vin knew Ezra was thinking about the words. Tanner firmly believed that Chris wouldn’t do something stupid. Their friend had a purpose, the mission. He would function like an Agent until the Kiowata were safe. And after that, he would have another mission: find Ezra and Vin.  
No, Chris wouldn’t do something to himself. Buck and the team wouldn’t let him.

* * *

It had been two days now. The cargo ship was flying full speed and they were getting closer to their destination, but wouldn’t reach P14-69 for another three to four days. And with each hour, they were getting further and further away from Ezra and Vin.  
Buck watched his best friend and commanding officer, had been doing so ever since take-off, ever since he had accepted that his own partner was still on the planet, too, with Ezra. He had worked through his fear and anger, and now he was keeping an eye on Larabee, who was currently the center of the team’s worries.  
Everyone knew about the Bond, that Chris was no longer in contact with Ezra, that it was stretched impossibly thin. There was no ignoring Chris’s deteriorating condition either. He had started to eat less, if at all. His eyes had taken on a dull shine. His whole body seemed to grow thinner without actually losing weight, and his skin was paler. Then there was the fact that his face was expressionless, he didn’t seem to know how to smile or laugh any more, and while there were still moments of the Larabee temper trying to break through, no emotional outbursts had happened. Chris Larabee was fading.  
Buck remembered the first and only time of a complete separation between the two partners only too well. The fear of a repeat performance of that time had settled in his stomach and so he kept more than just a casual eye on his friend. If Larabee tried something stupid, Buck would be there to set his head straight.  
Currently, Chris was leaning against the wall next to a window, gazing at the passing stars. The light in the room was set low and Chris, in his black uniform, seemed to blend right in with the darkness.  
“Hope I don’t have to take your gun from you, pard,” Buck said, voice soft as not to startle Chris.  
The pale face turned and Wilmington saw the haggard expression that had settled on Chris’s features.  
His best friend smiled tiredly, without humor. “No. But thanks for the offer.”  
Buck nodded. “Good to know. And.. any time, Chris.”  
He joined his friend in his silent contemplation of the stars. If Chris wanted to talk, he would. There was no forcing one Chris Larabee. If he needed a shoulder or an open ear, Buck would be there for him.

* * *

Four days.  
The heat, the desert, the brief relief brought by canyons that ran through the rugged country at intervals, and little distraction besides the constant checking of the small surveillance unit. Vin knew that if push came to shove, the small device would give them little warning ahead of time. It registered movement in a radius of five miles, but there was no telling what approached. And the batteries were failing. In a day or two, they would be on their own. He was conserving the batteries for his communicator, aware that if the others finally returned, him and Ezra were far away from the original landing spot. The small com unit might not be enough.  
But so far, these worries were the least of his growing list. On top of it was food and shelter.  His rations were for one week and that was almost up. Ezra had pointed out edible roots and leaves, but the taste hadn’t been all too great. They were following a small trickle of water that couldn’t really be called a river, and hopefully would get somewhere more hospitable in the next two days. According to the map Vin had seen before they had started the mission, the wasteland they were traipsing through was between Royal’s land and the wilderness that promised grass and water, and maybe game.  
“Ez?”  
The Kiowata raised his head, green eyes too dull for Vin’s liking. Ezra was healing, though the leg was still very sore and the wound broke open every time he had to change, but it was getting better.  
“Yes?”  
“Rest?”  
“I’m fine. We should walk a bit longer,” Ezra replied, not stopping for a moment.  
Vin sighed and followed his equine companion. Damn the man’s stubbornness.

Five hours later found them in the shelter of some gnarled trees and rocks, the sleeping arrangement the same it had been since their abandonment. Ezra had stopped complaining about having to sleep naked with Vin. Tanner himself had noticed a more pronounced closeness in the thief, the way he unconsciously curled closer to the only human warmth he had throughout the night, and both men didn’t speak of the numerous times Ezra had woken snuggled close to Vin.  
Vin knew Ezra missed Chris. He missed Buck, too, but that was different. They were lovers and partners; Ezra and Chris were soul partners, and part of Ezra’s soul had been torn away.  
“We’ll get through this,” Vin said softly, startling the other man.  
Ezra pulled the blanket more tightly around him. “One more week,” he murmured, voice toneless. “I don’t think I can make it one more week, Vin.”  
Vin touched the blanket-covered shoulder and squeezed it. “You can, Ezra. You’re strong. Your Bond is strong.”  
“It’s broken.”  
“No. Muted. Not broken. Broken is different.” Vin felt old memories creep up on him and he shied away.  
 “It’s all there is, the emptiness,” Standish whispered.  
“It’s not emptiness, Ezra. It’s the absence of Chris, but it’s not emtpy. It will be filled again because Chris is alive.”  
And Chanu no longer is, a part of him reminded him. He stared at the ground, fighting the past, the pain, the memories, good and bad. He had let Chanu go a long time ago, accepted the death, but sometimes, the pain returned.  
“Tell me?”  
Vin raised his eyes, seeing the need and the compassion mixed in Ezra’s eyes, and the understanding. The fire danced in front of them, casting an eerie light that turned the pale thief into a play of darkness and twilight. But his eyes burned with an intensity that drove the dullness from before away.  
Tell him.  
Not even Buck knew everything about Chanu, only that the two men hadn’t been lovers. They had been soul partners, sharing so much, and Vin had nearly broken when the other presence had been torn away from him.  
Tell Ezra.  
Ezra, who was about the only one to truly understand the depths of Vin’s lingering pain, a wound that had never healed, just scabbed over. The scar was painful.  
And Vin started to talk.

* * *

Orrin Travis had spent some time with Mary, talking with her, getting to know her again. Her decision to stay a Kiowata had hurt, but he had accepted it. She had found a mate, a changed Kiowata, too, and they had a son. The little stallion was three months old, curious, playful, and one of the five youngsters aboard.  
Travis hadn’t been oblivious to Chris’s deteriorating status. The man was a shadow of his former self, looking like he didn’t sleep, ate less, and was under constant pressure. It was probably an apt summary of what was going on. Finding him in the currently abandoned mess hall, Travis studied his Agent, noticing the new addition of lines in the handsome face.  
The Judge filled two mugs of coffee, then walked over to Larabee, holding one out like a peace offering. Chris glanced at him, then took the cup.  
“We’ll be there tomorrow,” the blond reported tonelessly.  
“Agent Dunne informed me about our position,” Travis answered. “I heard you had the Chimera brought there.”  
Chris’s hazel eyes flared with a challenge, daring Travis to admonish him for it. Travis did no such thing. He steadily met the turmoiled eyes.  
“I know you miss him, Chris,” he said softly.  
“With all due respect, sir, you know nothing,” was the flat reply.  
“I know he’s a part of you,” the older man replied. “An inseparable part.”  
Chris swallowed. “He’s part of my soul.”  
“And much more.”  
Larabee’s head whipped around, eyes narrowing. Travis allowed himself a smile and sipped at his coffee.  
“I know what’s going on in my Section, Commander Larabee,” was all he said.  
The challenge was back, combined with a heated warning.  
“Ezra Standish is something special,” Travis went on. “He performed a miracle where it comes to you, Chris. I can’t fault him, or you, for anything. We’ll get him and Agent Tanner back.”  
“I’ll find him,” Chris vowed softly.  
Travis nodded, drinking more coffee. He had known about Chris and Ezra for a long time now; years, actually. Probably before the rest of the team had. He had kept an eye on the thief, had seen the changes the young man had gone through, the conflict, the pain, and he had seen the happiness blossom, the closeness between the soul partners. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t felt suspicious at first. Standish was a con man; what if it was all a scam?  
It hadn’t been. The two men had become intimate on a level nothing could ever touch, their performance had changed, become better, had outclassed everything, and the team was one of his best.  
He clapped Chris on the back. “Get some rest, Chris. I don’t want to explain to Ezra why his partner collapsed.”  
Chris gave him an unreadable look, but he managed a smile.  
Travis left the mess hall, walking back to the cargo bay. Tomorrow, Mary and her family would be on a new planet, starting a new life, and there was so much he still had to catch up on.

* * *

The camp was hidden in a hollow surrounded by low hillocks that resembled frozen waves in a sea of grass. They had finally left the desert behind and Vin, for one, was grateful for it. He was fed up with endless sand and canyons. The trickle of water had by now developed into a larger stream and trees and bushes grew taller and in greater numbers.  
It was mid-afternoon and they had decided to make an early camp. Ezra was exhausted and Vin had to confess he didn’t feel on top of the world either. He was walking the same mileage as his fore-legged companion, but Ezra’s injury was bothering him more now. Vin’s bruises had started to fade and were nothing but a bothersome reminder now and then.  
Ezra hadn’t changed yet and Vin knew his friend would remain a Kiowata as long as he could, which meant until nightfall. While the nights were warmer than in the desert, he was susceptible to the falling temperature due to his injury. And Vin suspected that the decline of nutritional intake added to that. He couldn’t force Ezra to feed, but he needled him about it nevertheless.  
Both men had talked a lot in the last day or two. About Vin, about his life before meeting Chris, about Chanu. It felt good to tell someone who actually understood, who didn’t need everything put into words. Ezra’s empathic nature helped and while he wasn’t a real empath, his Borderline instincts took care of it.  And as long as Ezra had something to think about, to talk about, even to worry about, he wouldn’t fall into the dark hole that was the missing Bond.  
“Ez?”  
The large head rose and Ezra’s nostrils blew out air in a questioning sound. Vin had quickly learned to read the obvious body language of a Kiowata and right now, Ezra was wordlessly asking him to continue.  
“Since you know so much about me now… can I ask you something?”  
The Kiowata blinked, then nodded. “Ask,” Ezra simply answered.  
“Tell me about yourself.”  
Green eyes gazed at him, the Kiowata features not giving anything away, but Vin saw how the large body had tensed, and the tail slashed twice.  
“About me,” Ezra echoed, voice neutral.  
“Yeah. How’d you get to be a thief?”  
A soft chuckle, but it was without humor. “It was my only job offer, Vin.”  
“I kinda don’t believe that.”  
“Why?”  
“People choose what they want to be.”  
“Not me. I couldn’t. I was Borderline from birth. I had… abilities.”  
“Well, yeah… but they couldn’t tell that when you were a baby, right?”  
Ezra sighed and flicked his ears. “It’s in the genes. I was probably tested.”  
“Probably?”  
“Vin, I was abandoned as a child. My parents must have seen the defects, the blemish.”  
Vin’s face hardened at the words. “It’s not a defect, Ez!” he declared hotly. “You’re no different from any one of us!”  
“Oh really…”  
“So you got some special skills. Hell, it’s a gift!”  
“Back then it wasn’t.“  
“So who raised you?”  
“A woman called Maude. Maude Standish. Hence the last name.” A Kiowata equivalent of a grimace could be seen. “It was her name for a while, but she changed it when I was about ten. She always changed names. Maude… trained me in all things I needed. She made me into what Chris found on BP-379. A thief, cheat, con artist, liar…”  
Vin touched one broad shoulder and stopped the self-recriminating words. “She’s a thief, too?”  
A nod. “One of the best. Before I could walk, I could lift pockets.”  
Vin chuckled.  
“She knew I was Borderline. I think they checked my genes, too. No idea. She knew about my latent empathy, how I could use it to charm people out of their money and other worldly goods. We pulled countless scams, playing on my innocent looks as a child, or my small size to get into wherever I had to be. When I got caught, they had to let me go because of my age. I was never sentenced.”  
Tanner nodded. He knew that. He knew Ezra’s file.  
“I left her when I was sixteen,” Ezra continued, almost as if talking to himself, lost in ancient memories. “I was quite successful and amassed my own little fortune. But I couldn’t stop. Whatever the money I made, there was always the thrill.” He snorted wistfully. “It was the adrenaline, Vin, the sheer excitement when hanging upside down inside a highly secure room, or manipulating a computer into transferring millions into my accounts, untraceable, forever lost to the original owner.”  
Vin smiled, unconsciously stroking Ezra’s red coat, simultaneously encouraging and calming him.  
“I ran into her once or twice. Maude, that is. I refused to fall for her scams, her offers for team work. She had control over me when I was a child, but not any more.” He tossed his head. “She had manipulated my skills, used me, and until I had finally separated myself from her… I would always be her… possession. A prized trophy, something to use.”  
“Because of your skills.”  
Ezra nodded. “Yes. My empathy, my quick healing.”  
Vin frowned. “She hurt you?”  
“No. But she accepted the possibility that I could get hurt.”  
“Shit!” Vin ran a hand through his hair. “How often?”  
“Often enough,” was the quiet reply. “I was never abused, Vin, but it was an acceptable risk that injuries could occur on a job.”  
“Damn.”  
“It’s the past, Vin. Very far away.”  
“You still went through it. It’s a bad memory.”  
“I dealt with it.”  
“So… what got you onto BP-379?” Vin changed the subject.  
Ezra sighed. “I got careless. Kind of anyway. I accepted a job that was way over my head and I got caught. I didn’t know it at the time, but the files I had been hired to steal contained information on the machinery used to change humans into Kiowata. Instead of killing me, they used the machine on me and left me on BP-379.”  
“How’d you remember who you were?”  
“No idea. One moment to another I was back, in this body, in a stable, surrounded by more Kiowata. I managed to get out, but it took me a while to figure out that I could change shape.”  
“And then you met Chris.”  
Vin had to smile at the warmth in Ezra’s eyes, the happiness the Kiowata suddenly radiated. “Yes. I stole him.” A chuckle. “Best job I ever did.”  
Vin patted his neck and Ezra flicked his ears.  
“A lot changed through that. Chris was the first to accept me as I was. The whole package. I know we fought a lot and I was close to leaving him on that thrice-cursed planet more than once, but back then… we linked. I couldn’t leave him.” Ezra’s voice grew softer. “I learned what caring meant. I learned affection… responsibility for someone else…”  
“Didn’t you have friends? I mean, even as a thief… or a con.. wasn’t there someone?”  
“No. Maude taught me well. Until I met Chris… and even after that, being Borderline meant being different. It meant being the bottom of the human evolutionary ladder. Not even the first rung. I was an outcast. I trained hard to be the best, but it was never good enough because of my heritage. I was a … freak…”  
“You’re not,” Tanner snarled. “Never were.”  
The Kiowata snorted softly. “I learned that. A harder lesson than any other taught to me before.”  
“Probably. Have you ever seen your teacher again?”  
“Since joining the Agency? No. She’d probably have a conniption, then think about how to exploit it.” Ezra shuddered. “She’d want me to betray everything… and Chris… for her purposes… I never could, Vin.”  
Pleading green eyes met Tanner’s and Vin smiled. “I know that, Ezra. We trust you. Chris loves you.”  
The pointed ears flicked and the nostrils blew wide.  
“I feared that love for a long time,” Ezra murmured. “I feared the Bond. Everything. What he did to me. Nothing like it had ever happened to me. I never really loved anyone, man or woman. I had sex, true, but emotional attachment? No. Maude taught me it would be a weak spot, a way to exploit me.”  
Vin leaned a bit more against Ezra’s flank, trying to comfort his friend. “You thought Chris might use you?”  
“Yes. No. I don’t know. It was just… after all that time together on BP-379, just the two of us, his trust and the link we had developed, meeting all of you… it changed everything. It was in such… contradiction to what I knew and had learned.”  
Vin nodded. Ezra had run then. He had tried to break the link between him and Chris, and it had nearly broken them both in two. The soul partnership had only increased after Chris had been human again, and today… Vin smiled. Today those two were beyond mere lovers. There was something that filled him with envy and pride at the same time.  
“It was a good change,” he remarked, pushing away from the equine, giving Ezra room.  
Ezra’s eyes brightened. “Yes.”  
“Finding your soul partner always is something good. Finding your life partner in the same person… few have experienced that, Ezra. You are very lucky.”  
The Kiowata briefly touched Vin’s neck, blowing air. Vin smiled sadly and automatically rubbed over the reddish brown cheek.  
“You miss him a lot,” Ezra murmured.  
“Every day. Buck is all I ever hoped for, but he isn’t my soul partner. He knows about my past, but he can never really hope to understand it.”  
“I know.  He loves you, Vin.”  
Tanner smiled. “I feel the same. I won’t ever leave him willingly. He is a part of me. He makes the pain bearable when it hits me.”  
“Why did you never tell him everything?”  
“Because he won’t understand.”  
“Really?”  
“Soul partnerships can’t really be understood by outsiders, Ezra.”  
“Really?”  
Vin shot him a hard look. “Words can never be enough to describe what happens in a bonding. You know that.”  
“Of course I do. But Buck has been around me and Chris, and he knows you. He will understand, Vin. Give him a chance to understand. Don’t make the decision for him. And don’t let him live in Chanu’s shadow.”  
“I’m not! Chanu never was my lover.”  
“But he was closer to you than Buck can ever hope to be.”  
“I don’t compare.”  
“No, but you hide. Vin, the burden hardest to bear is the one you want to carry alone.”  
Ezra lowered his head and nudged the other Agent. Vin gazed into the understanding eyes that held so much pain themselves. He reacted instinctively as he wrapped his arms around the wedge-shaped head, careful of the horns, hugging his friend. Ezra pushed gently against Tanner’s chest, answering the needy gesture.  
“I’ll… I’ll try,” Vin murmured.  
Ezra whinnied softly. “Good start.”  
Vin nodded and turned to their camp, which he had neglected in the last hour or so. They didn’t have a fire yet and he still had to smooth out their sleeping arrangement. It was getting darker quickly now.  
Ezra shifted into his human form, inhaling sharply and swaying for a moment, but he remained upright and Vin gave him the necessary room. He knew his friend didn’t like to be so dependent and appear so needy, but right now Ezra needed a lot of help, even if he wasn’t asking.  
The thief wrapped himself up in a blanket, just like always, and gazed into the approaching darkness.  
“You know,” he said quietly as Vin nursed the fire. “I grew up on space stations or in planet-bound cities that were endless. Steel and glass and artificial surroundings. I never liked the wilderness... the outdoors... nature. I didn’t know nature.” Ezra laughed derisively. “There was no monetary gain in it. Except for maybe trying to sell a piece of land to an unsuspecting mark, but that was Maude’s specialty. I was more into hardware and software, electronics... inorganic stuff.”  
Vin watched the slender form, eyes on the pale face highlighted by the growing flames of their fire. Ezra shivered and pulled the blanket more tightly around himself.  
“Then BP-379 happened. I had to adjust. And suddenly... my instincts are warped. I love the outdoors. The Kiowata inside me wants to run whenever we are planetside, with nothing but prairie or grasslands or woods. I want to run, Vin. Not away... just... be free...”  
Vin nodded, even though Ezra wasn’t looking at him. He understood. Something profound had changed inside the other man the day he had been turned into a Kiowata. It had been triggered when the Borderline genes had embraced the change, had changed Ezra. Part of him was still the old Ezra Standish, the thief and con and cheat Maude Standish had raised him to be. Another part had started to break away from this, and when Chris had entered the equation, it had become irreversible.  
“I understand,” he said.  
Ezra turned and smiled sadly at him. He settled down on the sleeping bag and blanket, close to the fire, and Vin automatically joined him. Ezra unconsciously leaned closer and Vin adjusted to Standish’s comfort level.  
“It’s not personal freedom,” the thief went on. “I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it without Chris. Roughing it like we did on BP-379... it showed me what freedom is. It showed me what I had missed all my life.”  
“You feel claustrophobic on Four Corners or the Chimera?”  
“No. Never did. I can go lengths without being the Kiowata, but sometimes, it wants to be in control. It wants to stretch its legs.”  
Vin chuckled. “Travis would have a conniption if you started barreling down the station hallways on four legs.”  
Ezra smiled. “Probably. Would be fun, though.”  
“I bet. Hungry?” Vin asked after a stretch of mutual silence.  
“Not really.”  
“You have to eat something, Ez. You’re losing too much weight. Chris’ll have my head if I let you go on like this.”  
A deep sigh answered him and Vin held an energy bar under his friend’s nose.  
“Eat,” he repeated.  
Ezra shot him a weary look, but he ate. Vin smiled and sipped at the tea-like brew he had concocted. It didn’t really taste all that bad, but he would have preferred more sugar in it.  
When Ezra started to shiver in the rapidly cooling air, they crawled under the blanket and into the sleeping bags. Vin didn’t have to wait long for the thief to shuffle closer, as always testing the waters, and as always, Vin drew him close as if it was natural. They fell asleep like it and Vin knew they would wake like it, too.

* * *

Gray turned his head slowly, nostrils opening wide to take in the scent of the new world. Their new world. They were at the foot of the mountains, which ranged all across the horizon with their still snow-capped peaks. In front of them, the prairie stretched toward the forests and the lakes  
“No predators, no hunters, no other Kiowata,” Chris told him. “Your world.”  
“Your mate’s.”  
“Ezra bought considerable land, yes.”  
“Sharing.”  
Chris nodded. “Except for us, there will be no one else. You choose where to go, whether to ever show yourselves again… No one will force you into anything.”  
Gray looked at him and his head lowered, allowing Chris to touch him.  
“Grateful,” he answered, body language serious. “We explore. We see each other again, Chris Larabee.”  
It was a promise and Chris felt something inside of him blossom into warmth. He wanted to stay in contact and he knew Travis would want to know how Mary and her son were faring.  
“Find your mate,” Gray said softly.  
“Nathan as well as the Handlers will stay here. We just want to make sure you adjust.”  
“Grateful.”  
Chris looked over to where the Chimera stood next to the freighter, dwarfed by its sheer size. “I’ll be back, Gray.”  
“Go. Find your mate,” the lead stallion repeated.  
Chris stroked once over the strong neck, then turned and walked to his ship.

* * *

The small ranch looked abandoned. The house had seen better days, the paint flaking off in large patches, and there was no movement anywhere. The paddock was a lush green and the grass hadn’t been mown for quite a while. The river crossed straight through the acres of green, green softness underneath Ezra’s hooves, and they had stumbled upon the ranch by accident. For both, it had been a sight for sore eyes and Vin had decided to scout around, have a look inside in case the prior owners had left something behind for them to use.  Especially clothes for Ezra and maybe something edible.  
Staying behind, Ezra watched everything, ears turned for suspicious sounds. They couldn’t be too careful. Even if everything looked peaceful, Royal’s influence went further than just his own land.

Vin snuck up to the house, peeking inside. To his surprise, it didn’t look as empty as he had suspected. Actually, it looked very much like someone still lived here, even if he could see no one. Stepping back from the window, he ran a professional eye over the yard and then the barn. The house was too dangerous to enter, so the barn it was.  
As he entered the large barn, the smell was the first to reach him. It was the musky, warm smell of Kiowata. He heard the soft snorts and movements of several large bodies and as his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he discovered the stables at the other end of the expansive building. Curious, he sneaked closer.  
There were three, all in all, one stallion, two mares. To his surprise, he found they were unclipped and neither tagged, nor had anyone driven nails into the base of their horns. But they couldn’t be wild either. None was trying to break out of the confinement they lived in. And why were they in here anyway? Why not outside?  
A soft whinny attracted him to the light brown mare, and he had to smile as he discovered the recently born foal. It was barely two days old, if he was any judge, of a dark brown color, and its large eyes gazed curiously at him.  
Vin rubbed the muzzle of the mare as she curiously sniffed at him, astounded by the way she trusted this human so close to her newborn.  
“Okay, lift ‘em!” a sharp voice suddenly commanded.  
The mare shied away and Vin whirled around, cursing his lack of attention. He stared directly into the wrong end of an old rifle, pointed unwaveringly at his head. The rifle was wielded by a woman, old enough to be his mother, but looking far from frail. There was a steely gleam in her eyes and a hard set to her lips. Her blonde hair was shot through with a lot of gray. Lines marred a face Vin wouldn’t call beautiful but handsome, and she was dressed in work clothes.  
“I said raise ‘em up!” she snarled.  
Vin obediently lifted his hands.  
“Move!”  
She gestured with the rifle and he walked ahead of her, mind whirling as they left the barn.  
“Listen, I’m sorry… I… there was no one and…”  
“Shut your trap! I know who you are. One of Royal’s men coming to steal my last Kiowata.”  
“No, actually, Royal’s not even a friend of mine.”  
She snorted. “Right. You think I’ll trust you bunch of thieves and murderers? They are mine. I protect ‘em. You won’t get your filthy hands on ‘em!”  
“Ma’am, my name’s Vin Tanner, I’m working for Section 7 of the Agency and…”  
“Loada crap,” she growled harshly. “You tried some shit before, but that’s something new. An Agent.” She laughed coldly. “Move.”  
The rifle was jabbed into his back and Vin bit back a moan and wince as a bruise was hit.  
“Do I look like one of Royal’s men?” he tried again.  
“Yeah, you do.”  
Another jab.  
“You gonna shoot me? Just like that?”  
“No, I’m gonna dump ya in the desert. You can walk back!”  
“Just came from there,” Vin muttered, casting his eyes around, still trying to think of a way out.  
They were approaching the ranch house again and now he discovered that the shed next to it was actually a garage, holding a small vehicle. Before he had time to give it a closer look, something hit him hard from behind. Vin dropped to his knees and then to the ground like a felled tree, consciousness leaving him abruptly.

*

Vin woke to the sensation of a pounding head and dust in his nose. He rolled around, groaning softly, one hand coming to his head as if he was afraid it might fall off. With the pounding headache, it might not be so far fetched. Might even be an improvement.  
A soft snort could be heard and something stomped the ground beside him, the vibrations alerting him to a presence. An equine presence. Someone whinnied.  
“Ez?” he murmured, blinking fuzzily.  
His eyes refused to focus properly and the headache increased.  
“Shit.”  
“Vin?”  
That was definitely Ezra.  
“Hey, Ez,” he gasped and tried to sit up.  
Vin almost fell back, but a strong leg supported him. He clutched at the warmth and managed to sit. Pulling his legs up, he rested his elbows on his knees and supported his head in his hands.  
“Damn.”  
Ezra nuzzled him and he smiled.  
“Gimme a minute.”  
“Your time depends on the lady with the gun.”  
That had him look up and Vin groaned again as he discovered the older woman, still carrying her gun, still standing in the yard and in front of the shed, but now her face displayed nothing but wariness and astonishment.  
“How long was I out?”  
“Not long.”  
“And why are you here?”  
“She tried to kill you.”  
The woman snorted. “I woulda dumped ya in the desert, not killed ya.”  
Vin struggled to his feet and reached for Ezra for continued support. His right hand clenched into the dark mane as Ezra easily took the additional weight.  
“I’d have died there, too.”  
She shrugged. “I’m not real fond of horse thieves.”  
“I wasn’t here to steal any of the Kiowata.”  
Hard eyes looked at Ezra. “You have him.”  
“And you have three adults and a foal. Unclipped, unmarked,” Vin shot back, trying to think beyond the pounding in his head.  
“He’s a changed one. He talks.”  
Ezra blew air out of his nostrils, tail flicking abruptly.  
“So?” Vin challenged.  
She looked at them. “Came blazin’ in here, almost bowlin’ me over. So you’re not one of Royal’s.”  
“I told you. I’m an Agent.”  
“And you pissed off Royal.”  
Vin nodded, cautiously as to not aggravate his headache.  
“Got him hurt in that?”  
The woman gestured at Ezra’s still visible injured leg.  
“Yeah.”  
“You alone?”  
Vin pressed his lips into a thin line and she smiled humorlessly.  
“Listen, kid, I’m no friend of that thief and murderer. He steals Kiowata, kills them, makes them into mindless slaves, whether they’re changed ones or natural borns. He stole all but those three I have in there, and if he ever sets foot on my land, I’ll pers’nally shoot that bastard.”  
Vin had to smile and Ezra snorted in amusement.  
“Our team left with a herd of Kiowata we… liberated from him,” Tanner finally told her. “We didn’t make it.”  
“They comin’ back for ya?”  
“Eventually.”  
She nodded and lowered the rifle. Finally. “You hungry?”  
Vin blinked.  
“Y’came here to steal something for the two of ya, right? Well, I’m givin’ it to ya for free.”  
She secured the rifle and slung it over her shoulder.  
“The name’s Merryl, by the way.”  
“Vin. Vin Tanner,” Vin introduced himself. “That’s Ezra. Thank you for your offer.”  
He looked at Ezra, asking permission to reveal more. Standish just gazed levelly at him. This was an immense amount of trust Vin was putting into the woman, but they were close to desperate right now and she was just an old woman in the middle of nowhere...  
“Merryl… Ezra’s... well, he can shape-shift.”  
Merryl’s eyes narrowed, the lines in her face more pronounced now. “Whatcha mean?”  
“I’m Borderline,” Ezra said, voice level. “I can change my shape.”  
“No idea what a Borderline is, son, but if you mean you can turn human, why are ya in that form?”  
“’Cause running around naked in the desert isn’t good for your health,” Vin explained with a fine smile.  
Her eyebrows climbed a notch. “I see. Got no clothes here, except mine, and you sure don’t wanna wear ‘em. Got a work overall in the barn.”  
“I’ll try it on. If not, I’m perfectly happy to get some Kiowata feed.”  
“Nonsense.” She waved it off and walked toward the house. “You come in when you’re done. I’ll make you something to eat.”  
Vin watched her, perplexed by the change of attitude. Ezra snorted softly, then limped over to the barn. Vin followed, unwilling to leave his friend alone.

*

The work overall fit, though rather loosely, and Vin suspected it had belonged to someone other than Merryl. Returning to the ranch house, still cautious and ready to get out of here quickly in case the woman had decided to trick them, the two men entered through the front door.  
The house looked barren. There was a lot of furniture, but with little to no personal effects. Hand knit blankets adorned the old couch and chairs, a few pictures hung on the wall, but they showed just landscape and Kiowata, not family. Merryl came out of the kitchen and smiled at them. It was a smile from a woman who hadn’t used her facial muscles that way in a long time.  
“I got some lemonade or tea. Made some bread this morning, so there’s that.”  
“Sounds fine,” Vin answered.  
Ezra, cradling his still hurting arm, bare-footed and looking rather disheveled, walked carefully around the living room, then stopped in front of a picture. Vin joined him in his study. It was a hand-painted work of art, showing about two dozen Kiowata. A herd, he realized, with the lead stallion keeping watch on a small hill as his mares and foals grazed.  
Merryl returned and placed the food and lemonade on the table. Her eyes raked over Ezra, lingering on the injured arm.  
“You hurt bad?”  
“Just an ache.”  
Vin almost rolled his eyes. Each change tore into the healing tissue and while it hadn’t bled much this time, some of the barely healed areas had split open again.  
“Got some antibiotic salve,” Merryl simply said.  
“Thanks,” Vin replied.  
They ate in near-silence, Ezra more or less picking at his sandwich. Vin knew that behavior, had seen it before and just lately now on this planet. Separation took a lot out of the thief and he forgot to take care of himself. Vin had nudged him into eating the whole time they had been moving away from Royal’s land, and he did it again now.  
“Eat,” was all he said.  
Ezra shot him an annoyed look and took a bite, chewing slowly.  
Merryl returned with a box and placed it on the table. She opened the lid and took out a small tin of salve.  
“I use it for mine. Helps along with the healing. Show me your arm.”  
Ezra had to wriggle out of the overall top and he winced several times. Merryl looked at the crusted wound, took in the already healing area, and shook her head.  
“Need to clean that.”  
Ezra endured the cleaning and bandaging with stoic silence, but Vin knew it hurt his friend. Finally he was allowed to shrug back into the clothing again.  
“Do you live here alone?” Vin asked when he had polished off the last sandwich.  
“Ever since Royal scared everyone else off. It’s my land, my Kiowata, and I won’t bow to that bastard!” Merryl answered, fire flaring in her eyes. “Came here and took over, treating every single one of ‘em like beasts. Clipped ‘em, tagged ‘em, even killed some of ‘em outright to sell as trophies.”  
Ezra bit his lower lip, nodding. “Just like he did on BP-379.”  
“We know him, Ma’am,” Vin supplied. “We couldn’t catch him on 379 and by the time the team comes back, I doubt he’ll be around any longer.”  
“Always finds a hole to crawl inta and hide,” she huffed.  
“The Kiowata in the stable…”  
“Are mine, son. No changelings, true to their form. I raised ‘em. I refuse to clip ‘em or mutilate ‘em in any other way. They are as they were born and they stay on their own free will.”  
“In a stable,” Ezra added wryly.  
Blazing eyes bore into his. “Form your opinions when you know the facts,” Merryl spat. “I lost my herd to Royal because I let ‘em out. These are my last and one of ‘em just foaled. I’ll keep ‘em safe to my last breath!”  
Ezra smiled, a warm smile that took the wind out of the woman’s sails from one minute to the other. “I know.”  
“The herd we rescued from Royal…” Vin suddenly spoke up. “Might be some of them were yours.”  
She frowned. “Maybe. Maybe not. He coulda killed ‘em right away, sold their horns and hides. Would be like him. Tell me about ‘em.”  
Ezra started to describe the thirty-plus Kiowata and their lead stallion, and Merryl listened silently.  
“Some of ‘em could be mine,” she finally said softly. “Where you takin’ ‘em to?”  
“Sorry, Ma’am, but we can’t tell you. It’s a protected planet.”  
For a moment, she looked like would tear into Vin, then she nodded again. “I understand.”  
Vin rose from the table and collected the empty plates, but Merryl slapped his hands away.  
“You stay put and rest. Both of you look like you need it.”  
“We’ll be leaving,” Ezra murmured.  
“Nonsense! You can stay the night. More if you want to.”  
The thief shook his head wearily. “The risk is too great. We don’t know if Royal’s still looking for us or not.”  
“So you’d rather face him out there alone?”  
“We can’t risk your safety, or that of the Kiowata you protect.”  
“Bullshit,” Merryl told him firmly. “The bastard knows where I live. Has for a while now. He won’t come here, though.”  
Ezra’s face was unrelenting. “We can’t risk it.”  
Merryl looked at him, long and hard. “You’re hurt, sonny. You won’t make it far, either on two or four legs. That arm’s bad and as a leg, it’s worse. You’re hurtin’. I’m offerin’ you a place to stay til your friends come gettin’ you. Could use the company, too.”  
Vin placed a hand on Ezra’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “We stay the night,” he decided. “Then we’ll see.”  
Merryl nodded. “Got rooms t’spare upstairs. I’ll get you blankets and all for the night.”  
With that, she left them alone.

Ezra closed his eyes, feeling exhausted. The adrenaline from before had long since worn off and the pain from his arm hadn’t really lessened. Merryl’s treatment had added to that, but he wouldn’t take painkillers. They dulled his senses. It was bad enough as it was.  
“I trust her, Ez,” Vin said softly.  
He didn’t answer. Something told him that yes, the old woman could be trusted, but he didn’t want to be here, hurt as he was, with a stranger around who knew what he could do.  
Exhaustion and the prospect of a night in a real bed won over all other, though. That and Vin’s gentle insistence.

*

Ezra woke with a start, eyes snapping open and seeing nothing but darkness. A small noise of distress left his lips as the darkness around him mirrored the one in his soul, threatening to overwhelm him. Instinctively, he searched for the warmth he had felt with him throughout the nights, but he came up empty.  
A harsh moan tore from his throat. He curled up on the mattress, feeling tremors race through him.  
<Chris!> he called.  
But he knew there would be no answer. The Bond was stretched so thin, nothing but a faint, almost non-existent hum could be heard. And only when he really concentrated on it. Otherwise, there was just emptiness. All-encompassing, all-swallowing.  
Gawd, he wanted to lose himself in that darkness and never wake up. It would be so much easier, so much better.  
Someone touched him and Ezra flinched, drawing away with a gasp. Strong arms curled around his shaking form and a part of his brain recognized the soothing voice, the soft words. Instinct let him curl his arms around the freely offered support and suddenly things were calming down. After a while, he drew away, embarrassed by the need, the weakness, even though the only witness was Vin.  
“Ezra?” Vin asked gently.  
“I’m fine,” he answered automatically.  
“Sure,” came the amused and also automatic answer.  
Vin didn’t let him go, just lay back onto the mattress, Ezra firmly in his arms.  
“Vin?” he queried.  
“Go back to sleep.”  
“You don’t have to stay…”  
“Felt lonely, too.”  
It was all Tanner said, but Ezra heard the truth in the three words. He missed Buck; differently than Ezra missed Chris, but comfort was mutual. So they slept together, like every night, sharing body heat and comfort.

* * *

Breakfast was a forced affair on Ezra’s part. He had woken next to Vin, calmed by his friend’s presence, but the loss of Chris was growing more and more pronounced. It was over a week now, without even a flicker at the other, dead end, and despite his best intentions and Vin’s coaxing, food wasn’t really something he wanted. He drank the coffee and played with the toast, but he ate only one slice and then gave up. Hunger was a thing he didn’t know any longer.  
Ezra was aware of his metabolism’s requirements, that his energy intake was greater than for instance Vin’s, but the appetite was gone. It had happened before and weight loss was always right on its heels, but right now, he couldn’t care less.  
Merryl inspected the wound again, changing the dressing after applying liberal amounts of antibiotic salve onto the healing cut. The arm still hurt and flexing it was always connected to spearing pains, but it was getting better. Maybe if he could stay human a whole day, it might not even rupture when he changed once more.  
Excusing himself, needing to get out of the claustrophic house and the eagle eyes of Merryl, he walked over to the barn.

Vin’s lips turned into a thin, worried line as the door closed after his friend.  
“He’s hurtin’.”  
He looked at the older woman and tried to read something in her hard face, noticing the lines were more pronounced now.  
“Yeah,” was all he mumbled.  
“Missin’ somethin’?”  
He’s missing part of his soul, Vin thought sadly. While he missed Buck, it was a far cry from what Ezra experienced. Buck was Vin’s lifeline in many things, but he wasn’t part of his soul in every sense of the word. Vin swallowed the pain and shook it off.  
“Yeah,” he only replied again.  
Merryl looked at him, gazing into his eyes, trying to read what she wanted to know. Finally she turned away and started to clear the table. Vin rose and helped her.  
“Tell me about Borderlines,” she said after a while of silent working side by side.  
Vin regarded her wordlessly for a moment, then shrugged. “Not much to say. They are humans born with a genetic difference. There’s no reliable count on how many Borderlines exist or what really defines them, mostly because there’s no way to detect them. You can’t test each and every human being in this universe for their genetic codes.”  
It was nothing secret. Whoever wanted to know about Borderlines could read it up in a database.  
“What kind of defect is it?”  
“Well, there were two cases reported with telepathic powers. Both turned insane because of the voices in their heads. There were also accounts of mild telekinesis, precognition, empathy, acute hearing or eye-sight.”  
She nodded. “And shape-changing.”  
“Ezra’s different,” Vin just answered, refusing to elaborate. This was his friend’s decision, and he knew Ezra wasn’t very comfortable with people knowing too much about him.  
Another nod. Merryl simply accepted that. She put away the last of the dishes. “I gotta see to mine,” she then added.  
Vin smiled. “Sure. Do you have any com equipment around here?”  
“Office.”  
“Mind if I look at it? We’re far from our last known position and when the team comes back, I have to get in contact with them. I need to boost the signal.”  
Merryl shrugged. “Knock yourself out. I can’t use it for much anyway.”  
She left him alone and Vin smiled to himself. He liked her. He really did.

*

Ezra stood in the stables, smiling as he watched the young Kiowata play around. The barn was large enough for the three adults to move and a small fenced off area led to the outside. They couldn’t run free at the moment, but they understood the necessity to stay inside. Kiowata were highly intelligent, they could communicate, but some people still viewed them as mere animals.  
One of the mares, the younger of the two and not yet fully-grown, walked over to him, nuzzling him in a greeting, and he reached up, rubbing that special spot near the ears. She snorted in pleasure. The stallion was watching him, tolerating his presence, and Ezra was careful to keep his posture non-threatening.  
Suddenly the three equines turned their heads and whinnied in a greeting. Ezra looked over his shoulder and discovered Merryl. The stallion padded over to her, nuzzling her hair in a greeting, and she stroked the inquisitive muzzle.  
“They want to go out,” Ezra said softly, no accusation in his voice.  
“I can’t protect ‘em when they leave the immediate area,” was the reply.  
He nodded. “They know it.”  
“You talked to them?”  
“The same way you do.”  
Merryl had no translator. It was a device only used by Handlers, Regulators and those Agents who came in contact with Kiowata, and those were few. They weren’t sold publically.  
“Hey, Tem.” She rubbed over the stallion’s muzzle again, then patted his shoulder. “We understand each other.”  
Ezra smiled. “I know. They accept you.”  
Merry walked to the new addition to the small herd and playfully rubbed over the foal’s head, then briefly checked its health. The mother watched carefully, but she didn’t look threatened by Merryl’s presence. “Beautiful boy, Nyah,” she told the proud mother. “Very beautiful.”  
Nyah snorted in agreement.  
“I had ‘em since they were babies,” Merryl told Ezra. “All of ‘em. Nyah, Tem, Arranna... They know I mean ‘em no harm. I lost too many of the herd, among them this young one’s father.”  
“Let them run. They know to be careful. They won’t move away from the ranch too much.”  
She gazed at him, eyes hard, face unyielding. Tem whinnied and snorted, pawing the ground.  
“If it would make you feel better… Vin and I could go with them.”  
Ezra was surprised by his own offer, but he knew he meant it. Kiowata weren’t meant to be trapped in stables or barns or small paddocks. They wanted to run and he knew the instinct only too well. His own Kiowata nature loved the freedom of a wide plain or grassy field.  
“Your arm won’t let you run.”  
He grimaced. “I’ll be fine in another day or two.”  
“The change worsens it, right?”  
She was a sharp woman, Ezra thought. He nodded briefly.  
“Give it a day to heal better. Then, if you want to, you can take them out.” With that, Merryl turned and left.  
Ezra was a bit stumped. The woman trusted them just like that with her Kiowata?  
“She loves you very much,” he mumbled.  
Tem neighed in answer and he smiled.

* * *

Vin was busy repairing a leak in the kitchen when he noticed Merryl standing close by. She was looking at him with the well-known expression of someone studying something interesting. Like a bug under the microscope.  
“Something I can help you with?” Vin asked, wiping his hands on a towl.  
Merryl wasn’t someone to beat around the bush. She would place her questions, she would listen to the answers and then she would make up her own mind about something.  
“You and Ezra share a bed.”  
Vin straightened and leaned against the sink. “Yeah.”  
“You together?”  
“No.”  
She looked at him, hard eyes showing not the least bit leeway.  
“What if we were?” Tanner wanted to know.  
“I’d say you’re treatin’ him badly. That boy’s hurtin’ badly. It’s not gettin’ better.”  
Vin nodded. “No, it isn’t. It can only get worse.”  
“So you keep away the nightmares.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement, an observation.  
“I can’t. I can only be there for him when he wakes up alone.”  
Merryl nodded, then she picked up a sandwich that had been left over from lunch and left the kitchen.

* * *

Vin gazed at the other man curled up against him, the thick cover pulled tightly around his body. Ezra was deep asleep, the first time since they had been stranded on this planet. Every time before today, he had woken to find Ezra equally awake or coming around with him.  
Tanner sighed deeply, wishing there was anything he could do to help. All that time ago, when he had lost Chanu, the Hija tribe had been there for him. They had coaxed him out of his despair, his death wish, and they had slowly shown him that there was a life after the separation from Chanu. He remembered the gentle touches of the tribe’s healer, the insistence that someone would always be physically with him, and the soft words, breaking him out of another down spiral of pain and loneliness.  
With Ezra, all he could do was offer his presence, his touch, his voice, but unlike the Hija, he had no real experience or ability to counteract the emptiness from the Bond. Touch worked best, so he stayed close, let Ezra initiate it, and he reciprocated.  
A soft sound, almost a moan, alerted him to Ezra waking up. It was always the same. The moment the thief rose from sleep, he sought out his soul partner and met only emptiness. Vin reached out and touched Ezra gently, running a comforting hand over the tousled, brown head and down one shoulder and arm.  
Ezra’s breathing hitched.  
“Morning, Ez,” Vin murmured.  
Green eyes blinked open, focusing on him and on reality, and Ezra managed a small smile.  
“Morning,” he replied, no longer sounding so embarrassed about the morning ritual.  
“Hey. Up for breakfast?”  
“No, but I doubt that’ll change your mind about force-feeding me.”  
Vin grinned. “You got it, pard.”  
Ezra sighed, still curled up in his cocoon of warmth. “Well, give me a moment to get clean.”  
Tanner nodded and slipped out of bed. “See you downstairs. How’s your arm? Up for a ride?”  
A smile blossomed on the thinner-than-normal features. “All up for it.”

* * *

The afternoon was warm, the sun touching the landscape and heating it up despite the frosty night. The weather had changed, bringing once again a colder night and less warm days, but it was still sunny and cloudless each passing day.  
Vin had enjoyed working with Merryl on the farm, updating her equipment, repairing whatever he had the talent to, and he loved watching Ezra starting to unwind little by little. The thief was still a far cry from his old persona, but there were the odd smiles and glints, the way he talked to Merryl, listened and gave advice on his field of expertise. And he accompanied the Kiowata out to the grazing grounds.  
Currently, the sorrel stood on a hillock, eyes half closed, nostrils blown wide open in the warm air, his dark mane moving with every breeze. His whole body language spoke of relaxation and enjoyment. His red coat gleamed in the sun and Vin automatically checked for signs of malnourishment. While Ezra had lost weight, it wasn’t bad enough to show ribs.  
Thank god.  
Vin had accompanied his friend to the grazing grounds. He loved the peace and quiet, the rolling green sea of hills, running to the far mountains where the snow was still brightly visible. From here, the desert was only a memory. Sitting on the grassy ground, he smiled as the little stallion bounced around his mother, testing his legs and ability to maneuver quickly, while the mare watched him carefully.  
“We should return,” Ezra said softly, pulling him out of his thoughts.  
Vin rose, nodding. It was getting late and while it was still bright and sunny, sunsets were a quick affair. In another hour they might be caught in darkness.  
Tem looked up as Vin swung himself on Ezra’s bare back. He whinnied, alerting the mares, and like a well-honed team, the Kiowata started to move. While Ezra hadn’t aspired to being lead stallion, Tem recognized the necessity of a ‘bodyguard’. As long as Standish wouldn’t try to take his mares from him, he wouldn’t fight him.  
It was actually the furthest on Ezra’s mind. There was only one thing he wanted, and it was a black Kiowata by the name of Chris Larabee, who wasn’t in this herd.

* * *

Sunset had been magnificent. It usually was and Vin had developed a liking for watching it. Merryl sometimes joined him, stitching some holes in her work clothes or preparing vegetables for dinner. She lived off what her considerable garden produced, she made her own bread, and she sometimes caught fowl or game. That was rare, though. She claimed she was too old for hunting. Vin didn’t believe her one bit.  
This evening was one of those. Vin sat on the porch, watching the sunset, and Merryl was repairing her shoes.  
“I grew up with Kiowata,” the older woman answered one of his prior questions. “My father was a Handler, but he soon became a breeder. It was before it was discovered how intelligent they really were. As a child, I usually hung around the stables and I always believed they understood every word I said.”  
“Not every word,” Vin said softly. “But most of it after a while. They learn fast.”  
“Yes. Then the hunting started. Men like Royal wanted their piece of those wonderful animals and my father left his old home. We came here. He left me the place. With the herd. I didn’t wanna breed ‘em like my father. So I created a kinda sanctuary.”  
“Until Royal.”  
Her eyes hardened and Vin nodded in understanding.  
“Have you ever thought about leaving?” he wanted to know.  
“No. This is my land. These are mine. I won’t leave ‘em.”  
“I didn’t mean leaving them, Merryl. I meant going somewhere with free Kiowata, protecting them there.”  
Her face was unreadable as she scrutinized him. “No.”  
With that she went back to her work, the topic closed.  
Vin accepted that and turned back to watching the last rays of the evening sun fade. He finally rose and walked back into the house. Ezra was in the stable with the Kiowata, where he usually was throughout the evening hours, and Vin had promised to make dinner.  
So the kitchen it was.

* * *

The ride had taken hours and for the first time since they had been left behind, Ezra had run without pain. His gait was sure, his legs strong, and they had crossed quite a distance since early this morning. The Kiowata wanted to run, not meander, and Vin had simply come along for the ride. While Merryl had offered him an old but well-maintained saddle, Vin had declined. The usual arrangement of a saddle blanket and some make-shift stirrups worked fine for him. Even Ezra’s reminder that the weight of the saddle wouldn’t hinder him had been ignored.  
So they had come here, half a day’s ride from Merryl’s farm. The landscape everywhere was mainly dominated by rock and Vin’s sharp eyes had discovered the rugged crack in the earth a while back. The canyon had to be about 800 meters deep, carved into the ground by the small river running along the bottom of the natural formation. Trees clung to small ledges, bushes grew out of cracks and an abundance of wildlife scurried around the maze before them. The sun was high and gave a perfect light to look into the canyon, the beams reflecting off the river, bouncing off natural arches, fins and spires. Most of the stone had a gray or red color, sometimes even cream or whitish gray. It was a breathtaking spectacle of light, scenery and colors.  
They made their way along the rim, following a path trodden by deer, and Vin was simply awed by the landscape.  
“It’s beautiful here,” Ezra said softly as Tanner slid off his back to sit on a sun-warmed boulder.  
“Yeah, it is. How’s the leg?”  
“Fine.”  
Vin shot him a calculating look, then nodded in satisfaction. He might not be Bonded to Ezra, but he had quickly learned to read between the lines when it came to him.  
Ezra started to graze, tail flicking lazily, the sun warming his coat and relaxing him. Vin watched him from behind his shades, just as he always did.

* * *

It had been eighteen days. Eighteen days of being alone, without Chris, hearing the echoing emptiness inside his mind. Vin was doing his best to keep him distracted, to make it as bearable as possible, and Merryl, in her own way, had supported Ezra quietly. Like a shadow. She didn’t know what was wrong with him, only that he was hurting and missing something essential, and the thief had found himself talking to her on more than one occasion. Never about anything intensely private, never about Chris, but they had exchanged memories and stories.  
He liked her.  
On day nineteen, the com unit came to life and Vin was on it like a bee on honey. Voice communication was impossible, but the small screen lit up with the message from the Chimera and something inside of him yelled in joy.  
“They’ll be here in thirteen hours,” he told Ezra, who sagged against the wall, breathing quickening.  
Vin grabbed him by the arms and gently guided the shaking man to the chair.  
“Ez?”  
“I’m fine,” he whispered, eyes bright. “I’m really fine...”  
“Can you feel Chris?”  
A brief, jerky shake of the head. “No. Link’s been down too long. It’s... I... I think we need physical closeness.”  
Vin nodded, understanding. “In thirteen hours, you’ll have him back again.”  
Ezra managed a tremulous smile.

* * *

The moment the Chimera touched down, Chris was at the airlock and punching in the release code. The ramp couldn’t extend fast enough. Hazel eyes raked over the landscape, trying to see through the dust.  
<Ezra!>  
Something stirred inside his mind, flowing over the link, shivering inside his soul. They had been separated for over two weeks and even the decreasing distance hadn’t revived the Bond. There had been twitches, fluctuations, but nothing else. Now Chris desperately sought out his lover’s presence.  
<Ezra…. Please… talk to me…>  
<And what would you like me to say?> the beloved voice whispered in his mind.  
Chris felt his knees almost buckle at the words and sounds and the sheer presence or his partner.  
<Where are you?> he wanted to know.  
<Not far. We’ll be there soon. Is Buck with you?>  
Leave it to Ezra to worry about someone else first. <Yeah>  
Wilmington had joined him, pale face searching for his lover.  
The moment the Kiowata and his rider came into view, Buck breathed a ‘Vin’, relief and need in his eyes. Chris waited for the duo to stop and Vin to slide off the dusty sorrel before he moved. He barely saw Buck swoop Vin up into his arms, kissing him, demanding to know how he was. He only had eyes for the shape-shifting equine. Ezra was naked, dusty, but whole.  
Chris wrapped his arms around the smaller man, pulling him close, burying his head in the brown hair – and his mind in Ezra’s. Sensations and emotions flowed between them, needing no words. Ezra’s presence wrapped itself around Chris, pulling him close, hugging him as he was physically held, and Chris reciprocated. He sank into the warmth that was his lover, giving and receiving comfort, and he unconsciously took inventory. Not much weight loss, but dirty and in dire need of a bath. He couldn’t care less that all the dust and dirt now clung to him, too. The Bond, raw and needy, hanging on to Chris, like Chris was holding Ezra tightly, refusing to let go.  
<Ezra> he whispered in his mind, voice choked.  
<I’m here> came the soft murmur.  
<Know that. Not letting you go. Love you>  
Chris didn’t know how long they stood there, but no one disturbed them. When he finally allowed himself to raise his head, he discovered Vin and Buck close by, a tolerant expression in both men’s eyes.  
“You okay?” he asked, aware that he hadn’t lost a thought about Tanner.  
“Perfect.”  
Hazel eyes took in the unwashed appearance, the rugged, outdoors look, but there were no open wounds and Vin appeared relaxed.  
<We’re both fine. Now better than ever>  
Chris pressed a kiss on Ezra’s head, <Know that, love>  
“Shower?” he asked as he looked his lover over.  
“Would be much appreciated. And clothes.”  
Vin chuckled. “Don’t get modest now, Ez. You did fine without them while we were out camping.”  
Ezra gave a snort of humor, eyes twinkling, but he was grateful when Vin tossed him the old blanket.

* * *

Chris gazed at his lover, now freshly showered and shaved, hair still damp. His eyes were drawn to the emerald pools in the handsome face, seeing the hunger in there. He stepped up to the smaller man, fingers lightly brushing over muscular shoulders, down his arms, up again. Chris leaned forward and captured the sensuous lips in a kiss, feeling Ezra open up under him.  
His tongue swept over softening lips, demanding entry, then dove into the sweet, dark depths of the mouth that opened under his. The kiss started out slow and grew in intensity as tongues touched and sought out their counterpart.  
Lips were suckled and licked and lightly bitten as the kiss grew more intense, devouring, a battle of wills. Ezra gave in, letting himself be conquered by the need and desperation and love that could be tasted in each contact.  
Chris grabbed the towel, pulling Ezra flush against him as he divested his lover of the flimsy cloth, and he moaned into the contact of skin against skin. Ezra’s hands were busy familiarizing himself with Chris again, arousing the blond in turn, leaving behind a tingling trail of more need.  
The thief’s arms moved up and around Chris’s neck, locking their bodies together. The contact drew a moan from Larabee, deep in his throat, primal. Ezra's mouth fastened on his throat and teeth scraped against his neck, igniting a heated friction between them.  
They ended up on the bed. Kissing and touching and linking deeply, forgetting the world around them as they reaffirmed their partnership again and again.  
The intimacy was overwhelming, more so even than before. It was mutual passion, mutual possession, mutual need.  
The lovemaking was slow, intense, and despite the loneliness for so long, neither man rushed. Erotic spots were found and exploited, teeth nipped at sensitive skin and left easily soothed marks. Chris’s lips closed around one peaked nipple, drawing a moan of appreciation from his lover as Ezra’s hands clenched into his shoulders, head thrown back.  
Shields went down as pleasure grew and when Chris finally sheathed himself in his lover for the first time, all sensations spiked and nearly reached their peak. Chris hovered above Ezra, taking in the flushed features, the glazed eyes, the panting breathes, aware that he was his lover’s mirror image. He interlaced his fingers with Ezra’s as he started to move. Slow. Each stroke intense. And he felt his partner in his mind, losing himself in the pleasure.  
“<Love you>” he gasped, voice rough and wild.  
Ezra’s cry of completion echoed the vow in all spectrums, pulling Chris with him over the edge and into the abyss of their climax.

Laying together, Chris’s arm possessively around his smaller lover, both men reveled in the physical presence of each other. Ezra’s hand described lazy patterns against Chris’s skin. Both floated in the warmth of post-coital bliss, the afterglow, unwilling to move a muscle.  
<Think they’re missing us?> Ezra murmured though the link.  
<Nope>  
Buck and Vin would be celebrating their reunion, too, and JD and Josiah were more than capable of flying the Chimera back to P-14-69. Their team knew about them, both couples, and even if not, Chris refused to leave Ezra physically alone for a moment.  
<I’m fine, love> Ezra murmured, snuggling closer, kissing one semi-interested nipple.  
<We both are. Now. Gawd, I missed you>  
Ezra pushed himself up and caught the eager lips, kissing him deeply. <Me, too>  
The kiss was open and sloppy, and Ezra trailed a wet path down Chris’s throat, nibbling at the pulse point.  
Chris sighed and surrendered to the loving caress. He finally caught Ezra’s wandering hands, for the first time allowing himself to inspect the damaged limb. The formerly deep and gaping wound was healed closed, but a red scar had remained. Nathan might be able to remove it.  
“I’m fine,” Ezra repeated, closing his fingers around Chris’s.  
“I know,” Chris replied, pulling him close and holding him tightly. “I know.”

* * *

He stared out of the window, looking at the stars that seemed to rush by their vessel, and tried his best to fight down his feelings. Inappropriate feelings. Buck clenched his jaws tighter as he remembered what Vin had told him about their time down on that planet. The picture of a naked Ezra cuddled against his lover popped up in his mind involuntarily.  
Not that he had never seen Ezra naked, that wasn’t the problem. But something was different here, something subtle yet – essential. Vin seemed to be far more relaxed around Ezra, allowing himself to touch the other man and be touched in a way Buck could only describe as close, almost intimate? In the past Vin hadn’t exactly shied away from touch, but he hadn’t encouraged it either – or initiated, that was. Now there was no more shyness around his lover when it came to one Ezra Standish, there was an occasional hug or slap, a hand rested on a shoulder, a brushing of arms against each other.  
A stab of pain rushed through him and he sucked in a sharp breath.  
“Buck?”  
Great!

*

Ezra had actually been looking for Buck. He had thought about talking to his friend several times already since coming back aboard the Chimera, but so far, the need to stay with Chris had been much greater. Twenty-four hours into their flight home to Four Corners – after making a stop at P14-69 --, he had left Chris to his work and had gone looking for Wilmington.  
Ezra frowned when he saw the lean frame of his friend, arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the wall and staring out of the window into the everlasting night without really seeing something. Buck had been acting strange lately – since they had been found, to be precise. Standish knew that both their lovers knew what had happened planetside when he had been injured and cold and felt so terribly – alone… the mere thought, the glimpse of remembrance made him shudder. He never wanted to feel the black, cold abyss where once the bond had used to hum in the background again. A soft sound pulled his attention back to the man at the window, an intake of breath that almost sounded like a sob? Okay, that did it.  
Ezra carefully stepped closer.  
“Buck?” he asked calmly.  
“Ezra.” Buck didn’t even bother to turn around.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.”  
Oh really? Tell me another one, Wilmington.  
“Okay. Now... let’s try again – what’s wrong, Buck?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“You’re not.”  
Ezra slowly stepped into Buck’s line of view, forcing the other man to look at him. Buck just shot him a short glance, but the clenching of his jaws was more than enough.  
“Buck. You’re definitely not fine, and there’s certainly much more than your nothing bothering you. If it’s concerning me and Vin in some way… “  
This time the glance was a sharp one. Bingo. Ezra sighed. So Buck was indeed jealous? Just what he needed right now.  
“Buck, Vin did his best to help me down there. He was there for me when I was alone, kept me warm when I was threatened to freeze to death, tended to my injury… I most certainly wouldn’t talk to you right now if it wasn’t for him.”  
Ezra watched Buck carefully, watched the tense body, the hard look in his friend’s normally gentle blue eyes. Then with a deep sigh that tension simply dissolved, shoulders slumped, and pain filled blue eyes regarded him.  
“I know, Ezra. Don’t you think I don’t know that. Or that I wanted that to happen to you, never.”  
“I know that, Buck.” After a second of silence, “So what is it then. Are you jealous? Of me?”  
“No… yes… god, Ez, I don’t know, okay?” Buck turned and let himself slide into one of the small chairs. “I mean, it’s … you have the Bond with Chris… and, Vin told me what happened, of course he did, and don’t you think I’m not entirely grateful the two of you made it back home safe and sound. But… something has changed since you’re back. Vin is… I can’t put my finger on it. I just sense something is not like before.”  
“You’re right.”  
Buck’s head jerked up. “I am? And here I thought I’m seeing things.”  
“No.”  
Ezra grabbed himself a chair and sat down at his friend’s side. This would need a little more time than he had thought.  
“Vin helped me to survive.”  
“I know, body heat and all… “  
“Hm, especially the ‘and all’ part. I was alone down there, Buck. I’m not used to being alone anymore. Wherever I go, wherever I am, as long as I’m within a certain distance I can feel Chris. I can reach out for him, touch him, talk to him, whenever I need to. It’s been like this for years, Buck. The Bond is always there, humming in the background of my soul, telling me that my soul partner is there. When you were forced to leave the planet, this connection was slowly decreasing, and when it was gone all of a sudden…“ Ezra shivered with the memory. “Not an experience I’d like to repeat, believe me. Vin was there, anchoring me, grounding me – keeping me sane. I’m thankful that he was there, because I can’t be alone anymore. You know what the separation can do. It could kill. Vin knows.”  
Ezra watched as his words slowly sunk in, as Buck blinked once, twice, expression one of pure puzzlement.  
“Vin knows, Buck,” Ezra emphasized, ”go to him. Talk to him.”  
Buck looked at him, long and hard, and silent. “I don’t deserve it,” he murmured.  
“Pardon?”  
“Your friendship. Everything. Others would have slugged me for this, thinking you and Vin had... well...”  
Ezra smiled impishly. “I’m not others, Buck. I’m special, don’t you know?”  
Buck gave him a sincere look. “You are, Ez. You really are. Thanks,” he grinned, “Dr. Standish.”  
Ezra laughed out loud and got up from the chair. He patted Buck on the shoulder. “Go and talk to Vin,” he repeated.  
“Will do.”

*

Ezra walked down the corridor to the small mess hall, feeling hungry. His appetite had returned the moment Chris had been back, and he had eaten more than the whole time on the planet with Vin. Picking two chocolate bars – not exactly the most healthy of food choices, but what the heck – he leaned against the dispenser, feeling rather pleased with himself.  
<Dr. Standish, hm?> a voice teased in his mind.  
He smirked as Chris entered the mess hall. Larabee wrapped his arms around the smaller man and Ezra willingly melted against the hard body, relishing the contact he had missed so long.  
“You did well,” Chris said softly, kissing his head.  
“It needed to be cleared. Vin did nothing but help me survive. Buck doesn’t understand many things you do automatically because of the Bond.”  
“You mean I don’t get jealous, hm?” Another nuzzled kiss.  
“For instance.”  
<But I can>  
<Of who?>  
<Everyone> Chris breathed, demanding a full kiss, tasting the chocolate in his lover’s mouth.  
<Vin, too?>  
<Especially Vin>  
<Ah> Ezra’s eyes twinkled. “Maybe you should be.”  
“Really?” Chris answered, looking into the dancing green eyes. “Why?”  
“Well, for one... we slept together.”  
“You slept together,” Chris echoed, voice toneless. “As in... you and Vin... sleeping...?”  
“Together,” Ezra supplied. “Same sleeping bag.” His amusement grew. “In the nude.”  
“So you slept with Vin.... in the nude?” Larabee clarified.  
“Yep.”  
“And Vin slept with you.”  
“In the nude,” the thief added.  
“Closely?”  
“Yep.”  
“How close?”  
“Very. As in ‘snuggled up close to cuddle’ closely.”  
“I see.” Chris looked like he was weighing his options, Ezra still in his arms. “Anything happen?”  
“A lot.”  
“Lots of action?”  
“Uh-huh.”  
“Can I be jealous now?”  
<I actually never took you for the jealous kind, Commander>  
Larabee laughed softly, then hugged him close. <I know you’re mine, Ez> he said seriously. <Like I’m yours. Inseparable. Linked. Bonded>  
The thief looked into the warm, hazel eyes of his soul partner. His answer was without words, just the warmth of his presence close to Chris. And love. Something deeper than any words.  
“You think Buck and Vin will be okay?” Chris asked out loud.  
“They will be. Buck is learning, and I hope he will ask the right questions, expand his knowledge.”  
“He knows the questions, love, but can Vin give him the answers?”  
“He will answer.”  
“Dr. Standish?” Chris teased.  
Ezra only smirked.

* * *

Buck had thought about what Ezra had told him for a long time. Hours, actually. He hadn’t been too keen on facing Vin, asking those very intimate questions about something that had hurt his lover severely before they had ever known of each other. Chanu was part of another world, part of Vin’s past, and despite his knowledge about the existence of Tanner’s soul partner, he had never pondered this broken link too deeply. Now he had to. Buck had realized that there was something he had to know, needed to know, to truly understand one Vin Tanner.  
He found Vin in their quarters where he was reading up on what had occurred in the days they had been lost on the planet.  
“Hey,” he called softly.  
Vin looked up, smiling. “Hey.” The smile lessened as he picked up on Wilmington’s mood. “Buck?”  
“Tell me about Bonds,” Buck asked quietly.  
Vin gazed at him, a slightly mystified expression in his eyes at this shot out of the blue, but then he nodded. “What do you want to know?”  
“Everything.”  
“Wide field.”  
Buck shrugged. “I know.”  
“Anything specific?”  
Wilmington was silent for a moment, gazing at the floor. “How close are they?”  
“Chris and Ezra?”  
A nod.  
“Well, you’ve known them for quite a while now, right? You saw what Ezra’s flight to BP-379 did to Chris, when Ezra nearly erased his personality.”  
Buck winced, remembering that incident. He had been the reason. He had driven Ezra to extremes, ready to sacrifice himself to save Buck and Chris’s friendship.  
“Just look at those two,” Vin went on. “Remember what happened to them in the past, what you witnessed. When Ezra was sick, when Chris was hurt… The Bond is so deep, they feel each other physically. Chris feels the same pain Ezra does. And the love.”  
Buck nodded. “Chris felt the injury… until the distance became too great.”  
“Think of what happens when one dies.”  
He swallowed, paling.  
“The other would die as well,” Vin drove the point home.  
“But,” Buck protested softly, “you survived.”  
Vin’s expression froze and Buck cursed himself for inflicting such pain on his lover.  
“Yes, I survived,” Tanner replied, voice rough, unsteady.  
“How?”  
Now it was curiosity, and the need to know more about that part of his lover’s life. They had never really talked all too deeply about it. Buck knew about Chanu, but not what he had really been for Vin.  
“They wouldn’t let me go. I wanted to go, Buck. Desperately. I wanted to leave the pain and be with my soul partner. Chanu’s people objected.” He smiled bitterly. “I hated them for it. I did a lot of despicable things. Without them I’d be dead now. Tried to kill myself twice. Each time, they caught me, brought me back, helped me deal. I owe them a lot.”  
Buck stepped closer, hesitantly, then gathered his courage and took Vin into his arms. Tanner was trembling minutely.  
“This was bad for you, too,” Wilmington murmured. “Like an old scar, right? As long as you don’t scratch at it, it won’t open up once more, it won’t hurt.”  
Vin nodded slightly. “Wasn’t as bad as last time,” he murmured, almost too soft for Buck to hurt.  
“Last....” A hell! “Oh...”  
He did remember the last time. It was before they had become an item, before they had even discovered their interest in one another. It was when Ezra had lost his memory of everything, and had been scared to death of Chris.  
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “So sorry. Should have been there for you.”  
“You didn’t know back then.”  
“You didn’t say anything... We never saw it...”  
“You weren’t supposed to know, Buck,” Vin told him, looking up. “No one except Chris knew.”  
Silence settled between them.  
“You cannot replace Chanu, Buck,” Vin said after a while. “But you reached somewhere he never could, even as a soul partner.”  
“I have?”  
A weak smile answered him. “There was only so much my soulmate could give me. He was a missing piece of me... but until you, I never had love. Only... substitutes. Not even Chanu could balance that need. You have.”  
Buck gazed at him, speechless, touched, feeling emotions bubble up inside of him.  
“Would you want to bond again?” he asked softly.  
A harsh laugh answered him and he tightened his hold. “Buck, I don’t even know if I could. The separation was the most agonizing moment of my life. Our bond was violently destroyed, I was tossed into darkness, without his soul to guide me. Part of me died. The part that was in someone else, my soul partner. As far as I know, and what Chanu’s people told me, there is only one person fitting your soul.”  
Buck rested his chin on the dark head, sighing softly. He wanted to be everything for Vin because Vin was everything for him. He couldn’t imagine a world without his lover by his side. But Wilmington would never be able to replace Chanu for Vin; never.  
“Buck?” Vin queried softly.  
“Hm?”  
“Are you jealous?”  
“Of what? Ezra?”  
“For instance.”  
“No.”  
“Liar.”  
He sighed again. “Okay, yes. For a while, I was.”  
“Now?”  
“Now I’m beginning to understand.”  
Vin looked up, meeting the blue eyes, smiling slightly.  
“I just wish...” Buck went on, stumbling over the words. “I just wish we had met before Chanu. Maybe... we’d have had a chance to... y’know... bond.”  
Vin framed the open face with his hands. “So do I,” was all he said.  
No musings about whether or not they would have connected back then, would even have found each other as lovers. And was a soul partnership even possible between two humans? Vin was human, Chanu hadn’t been. His people were no strangers to these links between two individuals, but humans? There was no reported partnership. Ezra was a Borderline, he had gone through the forced change into a Kiowata before, and Chris had been, by all definitions, a Kiowata. Another non-human link.  
Buck refused to think about it. For him, the most important declaration had been made. Just three words. To Buck, they meant the world.  
The whole situation was a blessing and a curse, and Buck was drawn between relief and bitterness. No one could claim Vin from him as a soul partner, but he would never become Vin’s soul partner either.  
“Will it ever heal?” he asked quietly.  
“No. But it can get better. It has gotten better.” Vin smiled shakily. “Love you, Buck.”  
“So do I.” He kissed him gently. “Vin?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Tel me about him?”  
Vin met he inquiring, curious eyes, then nodded. And he began to talk.

* * *

Ezra let his eyes roam over the wide plains, the far away desert, which was only a memory in his mind, and the mountains at the other side of the grassland. And in the middle sat the ranch of Merryl, looking as small and abandoned as before. Chris joined him, ears pricked, nostrils wide, taking in the smell. Buck, perched on the black’s back, scanned the area.  
“Quaint little place,” he remarked.  
Vin chuckled. Like Buck, he was on Kiowata back, and as usual, he sat on Ezra. “She’s probably pointing her gun at us already.”  
The two men and two Kiowata started forward. As they neared the ranch, something moved. A whinny could be heard and a Kiowata stallion came into view. Ezra answered the greeting.  
<That’s Tem> he told his partner. <If he’s outside, so are the mares and the little one>  
As if they had heard him, the rest of the tiny herd came into view. The door to the ranch house opened and Merryl came out, toting her gun.  
“Hello, Merry,” Vin greeted her.  
She shot him a suspicious look, then her eyes raked over Chris and Buck.  
“You’re back,” she stated.  
“Told you we would,” Tanner replied and slid off Ezra.  
The thief stayed in his Kiowata form, as did Chris.  
“Why?”  
“We have an offer,” Chris said, startling the older woman.  
“That one like you?” she asked Ezra.  
Standish nodded. “Yes.”  
Merryl shifted her gun, securing it. “What offer?”  
“The Kiowata herd we saved has been brought to another planet where they can run free. No hunters, no ranchers, nothing to threaten them,” Chris explained. “You told Vin and Ezra that some of them were yours. These three are what’s left from Royal’s raid. What we’re looking for is a safe place for Kiowata, like yours, and someone who knows how to take care of them.”  
She frowned. “I ain’t no Handler.”  
“Which is the reason why we’re asking,” Buck interjected.  
“I’m too old to leave my home and start somewhere new.”  
Ezra’s ears flicked once and he walked closer to her. Green eyes met hard, gray ones.  
“There’s never a ‘too old’, Merryl,” he said softly, his voice transmitted by the translator. “Only too afraid.”  
Her eyes narrowed and she tensed. “You callin’ me a coward?”  
The green eyes danced. “No, I’d never dare.” Then Ezra grew serious. “I understand your fear. It’s a big decision, but it’s a worthy one. You have lost everything here, except for those four. They have lost the rest of the herd, too. They miss them. On this planet, they can never be free. There’s always the danger of more raids, more poachers.”  
“And the other planet? What about it? Who guarantees that they’ll be free?”  
“We do.”  
Merryl snorted. “No one can give that promise.”  
“Oh, we can. It’s my planet,” Ezra said casually.  
The woman gave him a hard look. “Your planet.”  
“Yes.”  
“You can’t protect a whole planet.”  
“You underestimate me. No one knows where it is. It’s not exactly ‘downtown’.”  
Merryl gave a little chuckle.  
“So... you chicken?” Ezra teased.  
“You play unfair.”  
“I never learned fair.”  
She studied him intensely. “No, you never did,” was the serious reply. “One of your strongest traits.”  
<It is?> Chris teased. <I always thought that cheating was part of your bad boy side>  
<Listen to the woman, Chris, and learn> came the haughty reply.  
“Think about it,” he said out loud.  
“I will. Are you staying?”  
“Is that an invitation?” Vin asked, smiling.  
“It is.”  
“Then we are,” Chris replied.  
“Merryl makes one mean vegetable stew,” Vin told Buck, winking at the woman.  
She smiled and turned around, walking back into the house. “I hope you guys brought some clothes,” she called over her shoulder. “I’m out of work overalls.”  
Buck laughed and slid off Chris, patting the black shoulder. “You heard the lady. Go and get decent.”  
Vin grinned and the Kiowata trotted over to the stable.

They left again a few hours later, with the firm appointment in mind to come back in a week with a larger ship to transport Tem and his mares and foal off-planet to P14-69. Merryl would be packing her belongings and move. It hadn’t taken her all too long to decide, Vin mused as Ezra cleared the last hill that separated them from the Chimera. She probably wanted to leave and their offer had been a dream come true.  
Chris had promised to arrange for her to pick out where to live on P14-69. She would have a ranch house and would be in contact with the Agency. Ezra wanted their home to be a Kiowata home as well, share it with the intelligent animals and protect them.  
And protect them they would.

* * *

Three days had passed since their visit to Merryl. Everyone was back on Four Corners, enjoying his or her time off, waiting for a new case that was sure to come afterwards. Nettie’s place was thankfully calm and quiet, the usual evening rush not yet hitting it, and the lunch guests had already left. Ezra, Chris and JD were playing pool, Nathan was watching and Josiah had retired to one of the side tables close to the pool area, reading something or other, with a beer in front of him. Buck and Vin had chosen to sit this one out, having an early dinner. They had been the last to join in the team get-together and were catching up on the food part of the evening.  
Vin looked at his partner when he noticed that Buck wasn’t eating anything.  
“Buck?”  
“Hm?”  
There was a dreamy, faraway expression in Wilmington’s eyes. He was resting his elbows on the table, his chin on his interlaced fingers.  
“You okay?”  
“Hm-mh.”  
Vin frowned slightly, wiping the rest of the sauce off the plate with his last piece of bread. Buck’s dinner had gone cold.  
“Buck?”  
“Hm?”  
“Don’t you like your steak?”  
“Oh. Sure. Yeah. Just great.”  
“You haven’t even tasted it.”  
“Still great.”  
Vin blinked, confused. Buck’s expression hadn’t changed. He took a swallow of his beer.  
“Sweetie?”  
Okay, screw that. Coughing, almost spewing the beer over the table, Vin fought for control.  
“Did you just call me sweetie?”  
“Hm-mh.”  
“Buck, are you feeling all right?”  
“Perfectly. Never better. Honey.”  
Vin was getting worried now. Buck never used terms of endearment, at least none that would result in immediate, painful retaliation. Now he had used two. Within a timeframe of two minutes.  
Something was wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.  
“Has someone ever told you that you have the most incredible, deep blue eyes?”  
Vin blinked several times, his brain trying to wrap around the last sentence. He felt broadsided.  
“What?” he finally blurted.  
“An ocean deep blue. Could lose myself in them.”  
“Buck... I had them since birth. You know them!”  
“Yeah.” A dreamy sigh. “They’re wonderful. Especially when the light hits them at this particular angle... or when they are dilated in the throws of passion throughout our lovemaking...”  
“Okay, now I’m officially worried.”  
Buck grinned and it looked... stupid. Like a love-struck teenager.  
“Buck, what brought that on?”  
“Oh, just noticing.”  
“My eyes.”  
“Yeah.”  
Vin shook his head, drawn between amusement and annoyance. It didn’t help to discover that Ezra was watching them, barely able to keep his laughter in check.  
Latent empath my ass, Vin thought darkly.  
“Has Ezra set you up to this?”  
“Ez? Nah.”  
Vin shot their resident empath a dark look, but Ezra didn’t appear very guilty. Just... amused.  
Buck smiled sweetly. “Vin, honey, sweetcheeks, honeybunch, snookums, cuddlykins...umpf!”  
Vin had pulled his lover close and stopped the flow of silly endearments with a hard, demanding kiss. Buck looked breathless and dazed in one.  
“Wow,” was all he said.  
“Stop treating me like some romance novel girl!” Vin growled.  
“Whatever you say, love of my life.”  
“And stop that, too, or I can’t be held responsible for my actions!”  
Buck smiled sweetly. “Whatever you give me, darling, I’ll take it gratefully, because it will be given with a love deep from your generous heart.”  
Vin fought for composure. “Buck Wilmington!”  
“That’s my name. Your voice sounds like the finest music to me, sugar....”  
“Stop that!”  
“And your lips, rose petals with dew drops in the morning light.”  
Vin stared at his lover, lost. “What the fuck is going on here? Did you take something?”  
“I’m only intoxicated by your presence, Vin.”  
“Intoxicated my ass! I’m leaving!”  
“I’d follow you to the end of the world. And beyond.”  
“You’re officially off the deep end, Wilmington.”  
“I’m whatever you want me to be, love.”  
Vin, fed up and close to exploding, grabbed Buck and pulled him out of the bar. If he had to go through Wilmington Weirdness this early in the evening, he didn’t want to do to it in front of a snickering audience.

The moment the two men had left, Ezra burst out laughing, barely holding himself upright with the cue. Chris looked drawn between amusement and confusion.  
“What just happened here?”  
Ezra snickered. “Buck.”  
“Huh?”  
“Buck happened. Buck Wilmington at his best.”  
Chris chuckled. “Vin will have his hands full.”  
“Yep.” Ezra wiped away some tears. “You’re up... darling.”  
Chris stared at him, frowned, then shook his head with a smile. “Don’t even go there, Ez.”  
“Not without a safety rope anyway. I’m a professional.. sugah....”  
Larabee’s brief glare didn’t faze him.  
“I love you, too,” Standish whispered, brushing his lips over Chris’s, then he turned to the table to pick up his beer.  
Chris sighed, rolled his eyes, and picked up his cue.

* * *

Vin dragged his lover into their shared quarters, fuming.  
“What were you thinking, embarrassing me in public like that? No. Wait. Scratch the thinking part! You were definitely not thinking!”  
“Oh, I was.”  
“Really.”  
“About you.”  
Vin rolled his eyes.  
“Only about you.”  
“Buck...”  
“Your lips, your eyes, your hands...”  
“Buck Wilmington...”  
“Your body... all of your body...”  
Vin grabbed him and pushed him against the wall. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
“Nothing. Nothing at all. I have you. You’re back.”  
Vin blinked. “I’ve been back for a week now...”  
“Yeah.”  
“So?”  
Buck wrapped his arms around the slender waist. “I love you, Vin Tanner.”  
It was said with such a heartfelt sincerity, it took Vin’s breath away. Buck leaned forward, pressing his lips against Vin’s, coaxing his mouth open, slipping his tongue inside. Vin felt himself get lost in the gentle contact, returning the kiss, arms firmly around his lover.  
Wow, he thought when coherent thinking was possible again. Okay, that’s the ceiling above me. How did I get horizontal? On the bed. Double-wow. Extra points for screwing mental functions on all levels, lover. And that tongue...?  
Vin forgot all about coherence and mental abilities as Buck’s hands and lips and tongue were doing wonderful things to his body.

* * *

It was rather late when Chris and Ezra finally made it back to their quarters. Both had played a few more rounds of pool with the others, then hung out at Nettie's for a lot more beers and snacks. Ezra felt bloated from the peanuts and nachos and whatever else he had eaten. He dimly remembered sharing ribs with Nathan.  
<You won’t even gain a pound> Chris informed him.  
<Only ‘cause my metabolism is different, doesn’t mean I can start eating like a... a...>  
<Famished Borderline?>  
Ezra shot him a dark look. <No cookie for you>  
<Was more thinking ‘bout something else> came the husky drawl through the link.  
Ezra smiled. <Oh really?>  
<Uh-huh>  
Chris let a few images trickle down the Bond and Ezra’s pulse quickened. They had been together for years now, but the intimate connection was a sure-fire way to get him all hot and bothered as if they were on their first couple of dates.  
Larabee pulled him close, their lips connecting, his tongue teasing against Ezra’s mouth until the thief let him in. Their bodies melted against each other, hands roaming over hard muscles, and Ezra found himself opening up immediately, wanting and needing the connection.  
“You think they’ll be okay?” Chris asked when they separated, just embracing each other and his head resting on Ezra’s shoulder.  
“Yes. Definitely.”  
Chris raised his head. “And us?”  
Ezra looked at him, eyes warm. “We are.”  
Chris smiled, one hand cupping Ezra’s cheek and a thumb rubbing over the tanned skin.  
“Yes, we are.”  
“Perfect,” Ezra murmured, leaning into the touch.  
Their minds seemed to entwine as they moved to the large, double bed, undressing. Both were too tired and drowsy from the alcohol to do more than a little kissing and cuddling. Chris was the first to fall asleep, close to Ezra, the link full of warmth and contentment. Ezra smiled, sleep dragging heavily at him, and he kissed his lover’s head, then settled down as well. Sleep claimed him not much later.


End file.
